The Night Before Christmas (F+/M)

[bw7098]

'Twas the night before Christmas, but you might not have known
For in this great mansion lived one Mr. Malone;
He hated Christmas and all of it’s joy
It had been that way since he was a boy;
He made his fortune young, using his charm
Never once caring how many he’d harm;
He sat back in his chair, sipped a drink so strong
Then came a sound from the chimney, something was wrong;
Down came a creature with a clatter so small
It was but a wee elf, about one foot tall;
On her face was a smile, so joyous and bright
A shiny green jumpsuit wrapped her body so tight;
She approached the man, her hips swayed with her walk
“Merry Christmas good sir!” she started to talk;
“You see I’m an elf, here from the pole”
“Trying to save you from a stocking of coal”;
“For you see sir your name is on the list of the naughty”
The man just sneered and laughed, his expression most haughty;
The elf got mad, “Please sir hear what I say”
“Or we’ll have to do this the much harder way”;
“I don’t care what you say you silly old elf”
“Now leave or I will stick you up-on my shelf”;
At the man’s remarks she sneered and she bristled
She then cocked her hips, gave a grin and whistled;
Then down through the chimney and onto the floor
Small elves dressed in green, about a dozen or more;
By the looks on their faces and the tinsel rope in their hands
He could only venture a guess at these girls’ devilish plans;
“I hope it was worth it sir and that you had your fun”
“Now if you wish to remain free, I suggest that you run”;
The man sprang up in from his chair, ran away with a grunt
The elves pursued gleefully, they had started their hunt;
While in good shape he was, he couldn’t outlast
Despite their small bodies, the elves just were too fast;
They jumped on his body and clambered around
Tugging and pulling, trying to run him aground;
They clung to his legs, on his back was a pair
One had even found her way into his hair;
This slowed down his run as he’d thrash and he’d flail
While even more elves behind him did trail;
They’d crawl in his clothes, pinch, bite and scratch
He felt yet more elves to him did attach;
He stumbled backwards, his situation was dire
Which was only made worse when he felt the tripwire;
A rope made of tinsel, just below knee height
Hold taught by two elves, put an end to his plight;
Losing his footing, to the floor he did crash
Against the soft rug, his head he would bash;
Stunned by the blow, his vision got blurry
While upon his prone body the tiny elves did scurry;
Before back to his senses, he could possibly snap
The mischievous elves already had him in a wrap;
Christmas lights trussed his legs, ribbons bound his wrist
Tinsel wrapped his body, no part had been missed;
They had bound him head to toe like a Christmas tree
There was no hope at all for the man to break free;
“Please just let me go!” to the giggling elves he pled
Instead they gagged him with an ornament, large, round and red;
They celebrated joyfully, upon his body they did cheer
While he could only look on, his eyes filled with fear;
“We could have done this easy,” says the elf, standing on his chest.
“But this way is more fun for us, so thank you, you’re the best!”;
“Mmmmmgphhhpphhhhh!”
“Sorry sir, nothing rhymes with that!”
Some of the elves bring over a large red fur-lined sack
They stuff him inside and his whole world turns to black;
The sack is cinched and dragged to the fireplace
The elves taunted their captive with smiles on their entire face;
“Hmmmmmpppppph pmmmmmpphhhh!” The sack bucked and kicked
The elves laugh at the man they had just gone and nicked;
“Now stop with the struggles, be still and behave”
“You have to accept that you have just become our new slave”;
“All we wanted was to spread Christmas joy and cheer”
“But now you lost your freedom till at least Christmas of next year”;
He rose upwards through the chimney with elves by his side
He was then thrown in a sleigh where Miss Clause did ride;
She was pretty and giddy and to her elves expressed much joy
“Oh just what I wanted for Christmas, a brand new boytoy”;
“I am happy that my elves, to you justice they did serve”
“This is what all naughty men like you need and deserve”
The man weeped in his sack, as the sleigh did take flight
“Merry Christmas to you, this is just the start of your night”