Growing Up With A Bully Big Brother (M/m)

[gothindistress]

This isn’t so much of like a “story” but just kinda describing what stuff is like for me with my brother. Cuz the story I wrote about him before was like based on stuff he does but I kinda made it into a story to be more fun to read. But I also wanted to just like say what it’s like a lot of time.

So he’s 26 now and I’m 13 so he’s a lot bigger than me. And we’re also actually only half brothers cuz our dad isn’t actually my real dad cuz my mom had an affair which is a whole nother story. I also have a half sister who’s 22 but she’s in college. My older brother lives at home still which sometimes I say to like make fun of him because he’s an adult still living with parents but it’s not actually cuz he can’t live by himself or anything. My parents asked him to live at home cuz they travel a lot for work and don’t want to leave the house empty (except for me) for long times so he stays to take care of the house and I guess me too. And my parents kinda try to ignore me a lot of the time so my brother is almost kinda parent-y for me but most of the time he’s just really mean.

He like did a lot of sports and stuff so he’s all big and fit and stuff. My dad’s really big and hairy and stuff so my brother is too but since I’m not technically related to my dad I’m not big like him. I never met my actual dad but apparantly he was pretty small and my moms small too and I guess so was the rest of her family but idk I haven’t really met them either.

My parents are like super old fashion and care a lot about like gender rolls and stuff so they really like that my brother has always been like tough and manly and stuff. He was definitely a bully in school but I don’t even think they cared. I was like 5 when he graduated high school though so I didn’t really see that myself.

But when he was a teenager and I was a little kid he would like wrestle me a lot and I would cry about it, like he wasn’t really being too rough to really hurt me or anything but I still didn’t really like it but my parents let it happen because they thought it was good for me to “learn how boys play” or whatever. My sister would tell him to stop but he’d just be like “it’s fine, I’m not hurting him.” So he’d keep doing it. Sometimes when he was home alone with me and I was being annoying or just like for fun I guess I dunno, he’d like wrap me up with duct tape and gag me and just leave me. Or if he wanted to be mean sometimes he tickled me. I don’t really remember all that part perfectly cuz I was pretty young but I remember some stuff. He also just went to a community college close to us so he didn’t like move away for college like my sister did so he was still at home, so it kept happening when I was old enough to remember it better. Also that’s about when covid happened so it was a lot of online stuff anyways.

My parents just had me be fully homeschooled during covid instead of online which is when I got ahead in school cuz I had a lot of time so I just worked ahead and stuff. And I started getting into goth stuff around then which my parents hated. My sister’s also into alt stuff and she showed me a lot of it and my parents really hate the stuff she likes and think she was “ruined” or whatever cuz she stopped being a Christian and became a lesbian and stuff, and then they thought she was “corrupting” me or “turning me gay” or whatever.

My sister really hated them so she went a lot father away for college and everything’s kinda sucked since. My parents always think that they can try to fix me or whatever now that she’s not here to “make me gay” and my brother’s meaner now that she’s not here to tell him to stop. The worst of it (which I won’t say much about cuz it’s not very fun to talk about) was when my parents made me go to their pastor for “counseling” to make me not gay anymore and yeah it went really really bad and that’s all I’m gonna say.

After that my brother got worse too. When he tied me up he’d like spank me and call me names and take pictures of me to embarass me and stuff. And he does it almost any time we’re alone. And even though after what happened, I was kinda getting old enough that being tied up was starting to be kinda kinky for me, it also sometimes made me really scared which my brother just kinda acts like is funny.

That was a few years ago now though and by now it’s almost kinda the opposite. I get panic attacks kinda a lot but now being tied up kinda makes the panic attacks stop. Sometimes if I’m panicking my big brother will tie me up and gag me and just hold me in his lap for a while which calms me down. Even though he’s usually still calling me names when he does it. It’s kinda embarassing to need him to protect me like that but I also kinda like it. I dunno, it’s weird. I kinda hate my brother, like he’s a rude annoying big jock douchebag, but he’s also kinda the only person who cares about me, even if it’s in a mean way, and I don’t know if he like actually cares or if he just likes to make me feel dependate on him. He loves humiliating me and spanking me and tickling me etc etc, which I both hate and love.

I started public school again this year since I’m starting high school cuz I got ahead, so I had to take a test to see if I could be in high school and I passed it, and school’s really easy but I do get bullied a lot, but it’s a lot different from when my brother bullies me, even though he does a lot of the same stuff as them. He’s never like trying to beat me up or anything but he’s also pretty rough and sometimes hurts me and doesn’t really care or say sorry. Even if I sometimes kinda enjoy the stuff my bullies do in like a kinky way, I never ever actually want it to happen, but with my brother… I kinda do, but also kinda don’t. It’s weird and complicated. It’s not like I have a incesty crush on him or anything I don’t think. And I don’t think he does either, even though he is kind a a weirdo. I don’t know, I hope this wasn’t too weird or sad to read. I’m kinda just venting. It’s whatever, just a weird kinda relationship I guess, but since I already wrote about it I thought I should kinda tell the story of what it’s like and I guess get to know me better too. Guess that’s all, bye.

[WhereAmI]

I feel so sorry and sad for you Timthy, maybe I should keep the Kidnap Timthy Crew" on Red Alert in case you need a Kidnapping Rescue sometime.

[gothindistress]

Oh I didn’t know there was a whole crew now haha!

[WhereAmI]

Yes and after the crew helps me Kidnap you and we move you to the super secret Timthy hiding place I shall tie them up and make them walk the plank to feed the crocodiles and alligators so I don't have to pay them. Pretty smart of me isn't it?

[Redman]

*gives you a big virtual hug.*

I'm sorry you're constantly getting bullied. Just hang in there, and find your people. You'll be okay!

[FelixSH]

I'm sorry, that you have to deal with this crap. I'm trying really hard not to rant about these people who treat you like that.

But you will find better, kinder people, who get you. And who actually care about you, for real, not in the "manly", "christian" way your brother does.

If nothing else, you will be able to do what your sister did, and move far away.

[Paris_bondage]

I fully understand how being tied up by someone you trust can relieve anxiety.

[gothindistress]

Well idk if I’d say “trust” but at least I’m not like (usually) scared of him