The Cat Sees Red (M/Ff)

[KP Presents]

That Chris de Burgh song? He’s not a particular favourite artist of mine, but it does bring to mind some tales of my younger, slightly more adventurous days…

This would have been the early seventies in all cases – a very good time for finding nice valuables to trade in, but as always in those days I tried to be as discrete as possible. That, however, sometimes did not prove to be the case – for example, I visited a home on the Norfolk Broads which was owned as a holiday home by a certain City banker – thinking it was the middle of the week, and nobody would be there.

I walked around to the back of the house and forced open a kitchen window before I climbed in, dressed as always in black – only to see when I turned his wife walk into the kitchen. She had short light brown hair and was wearing a light pink sleeveless dress with a pocket design, as well as black slippers with a fur top. She also had on a set of pearls and pearl earrings, as she said, “who are you, and what are you doing here?”

Well, I was honest and told her I intended to rob her, and I would appreciate it if she did not do anything to raise the alarm. She looked at me, and then said, “so if I do that, what are you going to do to us?”

“Us?”

“Yes – my friend and I.”

I smiled as I said “Well, perhaps you will permit me to secure your wrists together behind your back with this tape – and then we can go and discuss matters with your friend? Before that, though, kindly remove your pearls, your earrings, and your watch and rings, and leave them on the table…”



As we entered the front room, I saw her friend – a slightly older woman with dark curled hair, wearing a red cat dress with elbow length sleeves, and black shoes. She was also wearing a string of pearls and jewellery, and a shocked expression as I said “good afternoon- please, stay seated, and I would kindly ask you to remove your jewellery and place it in this black bag. Your hostess is going to sit next to you.”

I handed her a black bag as I helped the lady of the house to sit down, her wrists taped together behind her back, before I watched the other items going into the bag. Taking it back, I let them talk to each other as I knelt down and wound the silver tape round their ankles, before going behind the visitor and taking her wrists behind her back to tape them together as well.

“Forgive me,” I said as I covered their rouged lips with more strips of the tape, “but I need to ensure you do not raise the alarm for a while. Sit quietly, and all will be well.” They both nodded as I left them to search the rest of the house - but when I looked in a short while later, I saw them pressing their taped mouths together, their eyes closed, so I left them to enjoy their bonding time together…




By contrast, when I entered the first floor flat in Neasden, I was listening for anyone being at home – but there was no sound of anyone, so I closed the door and made my way into the front room. It was in darkness, so I took my torch out and searched the room, finding some very nice snuff boxes in a cabinet.

I had them safely stowed away and was about to consider moving to the other rooms, when I heard signing and hid behind the door. It opened up to reveal the lady of the house – wearing a sleeveless red dress with white horizontal stripes, and a pair of fur slippers, while a pink cord as being used by her as a headband, a bow tied on the top of her head.

She was also wearing large glasses – and I could imagine her eyes opening wide behind the lenses as I hand gagged her from behind, and spoke calmly, telling her not to panic and to do exactly what I told her to do. Fortunately, I was – persuasive as I felt her nod, and I told her to lie face down on the long seat and put her hands behind her back.

In my knapsack I had a roll of silver tape – tape I used to secure her wrists together behind her back an also to cover her hands from wrists to fingertips. I also taped her ankles together, as well as her legs above and below her knees, before gently rolling her over and covering her red lips with strips of the tape.

She had to watch, struggling on her side as I searched the rest of her flat, made sure she was still secured, and then made my way out…




Sometimes when I visit a home, I found all the residents wanted was some company and a chance to chat – take the lady I met one Sunday afternoon after I had broken into her house, and searched her upstairs room before I came down as she came in. She had curled grey hair and was wearing a long tan coat over a red jersey dress, as well as black heels.

She saw me, she saw my bag, and she said “Well now, young man – I see you have stolen from me. What do you think I should do about it.”

“Well,” I said with a smile, “if I were you, I would not try to reach for the telephone but instead accept what has happened – and the fact I have to make sure you cannot raise the alarm.”

“Quite right – do you have time for a cup of tea?” I looked at her as she removed her coat and said I” do enjoy good conversation – and you can make sure I cannot raise the alarm before I leave.”

Which is why, about twenty minutes later, she was sat in an armchair in her front room, watching em finish binding her legs together below her knees in the same way I had bound her ankles. Once I had done, that, I sat on the seat next to her and said, “shall I pour?”

“If you would be so kind,” she said as I poured the tea into two cups, and we discussed the state of the Heath government and what might happen if Wilson came back into power, a very pleasant conversation with tea and biscuits.

Eventually, however, she said to me “Well young man, I expect you need to be on your way. Could I impose on you to take the tray back into the kitchen once you have secured and silenced me?”

“It would be my very great pleasure to do so,” I said with a smile as I took some more rope from my pocket, and used it to secure her wrists together in front of her, and then tied them down to the rope below her knees.

I then peeled a length of brown sticking plaster from a roll – after I had wiped her lips and mouth with a napkin – and gagged her before taking the tray of tea cups and other things to the kitchen, and then returning, making sure she was all right before I made my exit to the street again…





On other occasions, there has been an issue when the person I found at home may have had – well a little too much to drink. A couple of years after that last visit, I was in Hounslow and breaking into the home of a prominent businessman in the area.

I could hear music playing in the front room, and as I got closer I could hear sobbing, so I looked in to see his wife on the couch, drinking from a glass of brandy – and the half empty bottle told me it was not her only glass that night. As was the style at that time, her hair was tightly curled, and she was wearing a red dress with white dots, as well as a blue scarf round her neck and a pair of black shoes.

She looked up and saw me, the tears coming from her red eyes, an di sat next to her, saying if she wanted, she could tell me what had upset her so much. That was when it came out – she had found out her husband had had an affair, and was planning to divorce her, leave her alone.

This was certainly ungentlemanly behaviour, but she was surprised when I put my arm round her, and she cried for a while into my shoulder. Only when she stopped, and used the handkerchief I gave to her, did she ask if I was a robber.

Well, I admitted I was, but I didn’t want to cause her any further unnecessary harm. She smiled, and thanked me for being considerate – before she said she wanted to get everything she could from her husband, so I should feel free to take everything – including the contents of his safe, which she had the combination for – and she was not going to stop me.

I did ask if she understood that meant I had to make sure she really could not, and she nodded d- only asking I made sure she was comfortable.

Well, when a lady makes a request, only a cad would not try to help her – so an hour later, she was lying on her back along the couch, a length of washing line running from her bound wrists to her secured ankles, wrapped round her waist and her legs as well, while a rolled up napkin was pulled between her lips and tied round her head. She nodded as I picked my now much heavier bag up, kissed her on the forehead, and left her to wait for her son to come home and free her.


I then met her some weeks later, and returned her jewellery to her – assured the divorce was going through…





And just occasionally, the lady I have to secure surprised me in other ways. I’m reminded of one young lady in the mid-seventies – it was getting close to Christmas, and I remember seeing the large, decorated tree in the front room of the house as I was looking round for anything in the collectable range.

That was when she walked in and saw me – in her mid-twenties, with long auburn hair, wearing a short sleeved red LauraAshley dress with a silver fish pendant round her neck, and wearing black tight leather boots.

She turned - and I hand gagged her from behind and told her not to panic, I was not going to hurt her – and then I realized she was breathing heavily and trying to control her own emotions as well. Almost as if…

I asked her is he was afraid, and she shook her head, so I asked her if she had ever been tied up. I felt the exhalation om my gloved hand, so I said I was only going to rob her, but I had to make sure she was secured – on her bed, if she had any scarves. As she mumbled something I took my hand away – and she said she might have something I could use in her bedroom.

So, we made our way to it, and I watched as she opened a wardrobe and brought out a selection of long chiffon scarves.

I invited her to lie on her back, and tied two of the scarves round her wrist, before I took them above her head and secured the other ends of the scarves to the metal headboard. She then watched as I used two more to secure her legs together, one at the ankles and one below her knees. And used two bandanas to sinch the binding and make it tighter.

We talked about music and other things as I emptied the contents of her jewellery boxes into my rucksack, and then I rolled up a headscarf and pushed it into her mouth, the edges sticking out from between her lips as I left her alone with a promise to send help once I was well out of the way….



One more tale? Well, as you know, one of things I really do not like is when I have to make sure younger children stay with their family unable to raise the alarm as well – but one occasion, as we were talking about Christmas, does come to mind.

This would have been – oh 1972, and I was still a trainee when my mentor said I could do one job on my own. So I selected a house in South London and made my way in through the rear door and through the kitchen. I could hear that the television was on – so I stopped for a moment and listened. I was wearing a black jacket over a jumper and pants, and leather gloves, but I wasn’t wearing a disguise as such – so when I was in the corridor, and the door to a room opened, io had to stand to the side and wait as the woman came out. She had curled brown hair, and was wearing a pair of owl rimmed glasses, as well as knee length red coat dress a skirt that just about came to her knees. She was barefoot, and shocked to see me as I put a gloved finger to my lips and told her quietly not to panic.

She asked me what I wanted – and that was when a nine-year-old girl came out of the front room, her light brown hair cut into a bob. She was wearing a patchwork top with red sleeves and collar, red pants, white socks and black may jane shoes – and she held her mother’s hand as she asked who I was.

For a moment, I considered just walking out – and then her mother said I was going to take some of her jewels, and I was also going to make sure they could not raise the alarm.

Well, her honesty was refreshing, so I squatted own in front of her and said her mother was right – but I promised I wasn’t going to hurt either of them, just make sure they stayed where they were for a while and also stayed quiet.

She looked at her mother, who squeezed her hand and said they were going to be all right, before she asked me if they could stay in the front room. I nodded and took her daughter’s hand as I asked her to go in and close the curtains, then sit on the couch with her hands on her lap.

I let her daughter sit with her, before I gave her a length of soft white cord to hold, and asked her to watch what I did to her mother. She turned and moved her hands behind her back, smiling and talking to her daughter as I secured her wrists tightly together and cinched the binding. She then turned and let her daughter see what I had done while I took the length of cord back – and then I gently took her hands behind her back and secured her wrists together as well.

She giggled and twisted her arms round, before I knelt down and used more of the cords to secure her mother’s ankles together, as well as her legs below her knees. She then watched as I helped her daughter to stand up and tied some rope round her arms and stomach to make it more difficult for her to move, before helping her to sit next to her mother and binding her ankles and legs as well. She started to swing her legs up and down, looking at the ropes as I used a longer length to secure her mother’s arms to her sides.

I then looked at the television, and saw that they we restarting to show some cartoons, so I left it playing while I went and searched the house, trusting them to keep quiet – which they did until I came back in with a full bag.

I had one last thing to do – take some white tape from my bag, tear strips off and gently press them down over the mouths and chins of both of them. The little girl smiled as she lay down with her head on her mother’s lap, looking up as she wriggled round and them at me as I said goodbye to both of them.

Ah – a customer. Allow me to attend to them and we can continue to talk afterwards….