Rachel Brosnahan-Escape Issue (M/F)

[Terrance Howard 33]

Hey guys I’m Rachel Brosnahan here with Variety and I have an issue, an escape issue. A title card of “The Escape Issue” in white text pops up and is followed by a blurry montage of the video playing in the background. Cut back to Rachel addressing the camera

“So in my new film Superman (Out July 11th 2025) I play Lois Lane,star reporter and she gets into a lot of [BLEEP]. Can I swear?” She laughs as she asks the off camera producers. The producers shake their heads. “No?” Rachel says with laughter still in her voice. A technical difficulties sign pops up with a loud beep. “Lois gets in a lot of crap” Rachel corrects. “And that includes when some thugs tie you up in the middle of a big scoop. So Lois being a good escapologist is actually a job requirement.” Rachel explains. “You know whose job description doesn’t include escapology? Mine!” Rachel says, exaggerating as she points at herself with her thumb. “Should we show the video” an off camera producer says. “Do I have a choice,roll the video” Rachel says her face in her hands in embarrassment.

A candid video of BTS footage of the Superman movie. It’s a video of the cast in the daily planet set. As a cast prank Daniel Corensweet taped Rachel’s hands lightly behind her back. “Guys let me out” Rachel whines as she tries and fails to struggle out of the tape. The crew laughs as she desperately asks for something sharp and fails to escape. Fast-forwarded footage shows she's like that for 15 minutes.

Cut back to Rachel, her head resting on the little table in front of her in shame. “Okay listen, when I was hired because of my ability to give a report on Polka Dot Man causing chaos in downtown Gotham in my audition!” Rachel says defensively. “But that’s not the point, I’m here today to learn and improve” Rachel says defiantly.”So with the help of Variety I have hired a crash course escapology teacher.

Loud swoosh then an establishing shot of the escapology building showing a room with wood floors with coils of rope and tape as if you tried to make a sex dungeon only using supplies from Home Depot. Rachel stands to her left in a purple blouse and jeans to her right stood Mark the professional escapologist. “Alright I’m here with Mark Johnson and I’ll let him provide his credentials.” Rachel says. “Thank you, I’ve been in the business for a couple of decades at this point and I’ve trained everybody from corporate executives, to stunt performers (of which I was one for a number of years), to some low level spies.” Mark explains. “Excellent you really know your stuff then I need all the help I can get.” Rachel says humorously. “Now where do we begin?” Rachel asks. “They’ll see in a second” Mark says pointing at the camera.

*Transition* Rachel is now standing with her hands behind her back. ”So why are cuffs the first thing?” Rachel asks, trying to pull her wrist apart. “While you would think handcuffs are hard to escape from,as long as you know and have something to pick a lock it's easy.” Mark explains. He proceeds to give a step by step guide to how to pick the lock. “Make sure that we can see your hands Rachel” an off camera producer says. Rachel does waving the camera with her bound hands. “Alright I’m ready” Rachel says somewhat nervously. After a lot of struggling and some grunts she picks the cuffs and they fall to the floor. “Woo!” Rachel says jumping up and down. “Alright on the lesson 2”

*Transition* This time Rachel’s hands are taped in front with tape above and below her breast making it so she can’t fully raise her arms and her ankles are taped. “Alright I’m ready to get my revenge” Rachel says excitedly. “Okay if I was a kidnapper I would have made plenty of mistakes if I left you bound like this. I want you to tell me one you can exploit.” Mark asks. Rachel thinks for a bit before raising her wrist to her mouth and starts chewing through the tape. “Yes! The kidnapper didn’t gag you,now most people when left ungagged will scream for help but in most situations you don’t know where you are but there is a good chance that it's only going to attract the attention of the kidnappers who will then make your situation a whole lot worse” Mark explains as Rachel chews through the tape binding her wrist and starts unwrapping it around her ankles and chest. “Ha! Take that, Daniel! Look who can escape now!” Rachel says throwing the scrunched up tape on the ground.


*Transition* Rachel is now tied up with brown rope, her ankles and thighs, her wrist tied behind her back along with her elbows. A bandana is also tied somewhat tightly in her mouth. “Now the kidnappers have wised up and have gagged you but this doesn’t mean it's impossible to escape.” Mark explains. Rachel grunts in agreement. “Now while it might be scary you're going to be fastest when you hop can you hop around to get comfortable with it” Mark says. “Mmmhmm” Rachel says while nodding she then proceeds to hop to Mark and back giggling the entire way. “Good!” Mark affirms pointing at a knife on the other side of his shop. “Now most likely your captors won’t leave a knife around but the lesson here is to find something sharp to help cut you out.” Mark clarifies. Rachel hops to the knife and carefully slices through the ropes. “Hoo that was tight” Rachel says as she unties the bandana in her mouth.

*Transition* close up on Rachel’s face. “Make sure you check my new film Superman out July 11th” Rachel says doing her contracted promotion.”Now time for my ultimate escape challenge,goodbye”. Rachel confidently says. The camera then zooms out, revealing her tied to a leg of a table. Her hands are handcuffed behind her back to the pole.a rope harness further a very dull knife is hanging to the left of her on the right a zip tied together pair of scissors both just barely out of her reach. Her legs are practically mummified in PVC duct tape. Somewhere in the layers of duct tape are the keys to the handcuffs. Mark then stuffs the bandana in her mouth before using 8 pieces of duct tape to keep it in. She gives him a thumbs up and starts struggling as the Variety crew leaves. Mark then gets a call and steps out of the room. The person who called him was Daniel Corenswet, her Superman costar and person she's been in all out prank war since the beginning of production. “Yes,David, it worked,Don’t worry I filled her with so much confidence she’ll be at it for hours.and yes I’m secretly recording it.”Mark answered. Mark then hangs up and walks back in, and Rachel smiles under her gag and goes back to struggling. Mark silently sighs and sits down at his desk, waiting for her to tap out.”It’s going to be a long night” Mark thinks to himself.

[hafnermg]

Fun story!!

[Ovi1]

Very nice tale! It truly feels like the video we all wish exists