Accessories that indicate kinky interests

[wannabetiedup]

I've just been on a video conference call at work, and one of the female attendees was wearing an interesting necklace.

It was a link chain, but a big one. I wouldn't lock a bicycle to a stand with it, but it was big enough to use for securing gas cylinders to walls (maybe even bigger than those I've used for that in the past).

My thoughts were whether this is a "subtle" hint at her interest in bondage, or if it's simply the current style for our times! Forgive me, I'm mid 40s and don't exactly keep up with fashion lol.

[40 plus denier]

I've always wondered when you see women with a small band round one of their ankles if this is a subtle hint?. Or it just be fashion

[WillHBonney]

I dunno if this is a thing but I remember when I was using dating apps, I was chatting to a girl about bondage and I asked if she was into it and she told me she had her nipples pierced. As if that was some common thing that indicates someone is kinky?
Maybe it is and I’m just unaware of it. Also, not sure if nipple piercings really count since there pretty concealed.

[wannabetiedup]

Yes ankle bracelets always make me question if at least there is a foot fetishist in there.

And piercings of any sort except for ears tend to get my Spidey sense going. But that's just my assumption that alternative girls are more likely to be more exploratory and open to other experiences.

[Redman]

I'm inclined to believe that people that wear bondage inspired accessories have at least a subconscious attraction to the lifestyle. Even if they don't know the item's origins. For example, when I was 12 I got a studded leather bracelet and wore it at school proudly. BUT... I did not know about bondage cuffs yet. That would come about a year or two later when I discovered one of this site's predecessors. Still, I was tying myself up quite often at that time. I was already into it, just not as deep.

[wannabetiedup]

I can see how things could be subliminal and subconscious. I'm guessing the feeling of that bracelet was scratching that desire to feel something around your wrist. I think I had the same trigger from something like long football socks which tend to be tight when worn, and that compression feel would create a subconscious link to me wanting to be mummified.

[copperfox]

Definitely an interesting question. It really varies greatly from person to person. There’s a lot of people (kids as well as adults) who just want to be seen as edgy or different—and that’s the extent of it. Maybe that just want to wear something for “shock” value. Stores like Hot Topic appeal to this type of person. There’s a lot of faux leather clothes, cuffs, and accessories made of “chain”. For some people, it’s just a fashion statement, with no real interest in kink behind it.

Wanting to be different or edgy isn’t a negative thing—but that desire may very well come from completely non-kink related origins. Given the number of people that I think fall into that category, I personally don’t read too much into it when I see someone wearing something like that.

[Splergy]

I've just been on a video conference call at work, and one of the female attendees was wearing an interesting necklace.

It was a link chain, but a big one. I wouldn't lock a bicycle to a stand with it, but it was big enough to use for securing gas cylinders to walls (maybe even bigger than those I've used for that in the past).

My thoughts were whether this is a "subtle" hint at her interest in bondage, or if it's simply the current style for our times! Forgive me, I'm mid 40s and don't exactly keep up with fashion lol.

I always thought it would be cool if we had a certain agreed on thing in the community to show our interest, like coloured laces etc

[tiedinbluetights]

I always thought it would be cool if we had a certain agreed on thing in the community to show our interest, like coloured laces etc

There used to be a bdsm "hanky" colour code and a gray hanky in your left back pocket would indicate a top master/rigger and in your right back pocket a bottom slave/bondage-captive.

That was the 1980s, so I'm not sure if it has evolved since. Perhaps a lace or chain around a left or right ankle means something similar? Silver and gray are close in shade. Would have to ask someone who is actively involved with the modern bdsm communities.

[wannabetiedup]

The fear I have is that such "official" indicators could be picked up and used against me. I'm very shy about all this and the thoughts of others knowing about it sends shivers down my spine. Irrational as that seems

[Kyle]

There are undoubtedly some people who wear certain necklaces, bracelets, etc. because they're into bondage and like the feeling of it. Apparently, some women who like to be tied up like big choker necklaces and big bracelets that somewhat resemble soft cuffs without the chain. Women having a lot more fashion options probably makes it easier for them to wear things like this without also standing out as wearing something obviously kinky, especially if they already wear goth/alt type fashion to begin with.

This leads to the problem with trying to come up with something to advertise your interest without being obvious: some people are going to wear these things without any interest or trying to indicate it who will have no idea someone is going to take it that way.

[tiedinbluetights]

Interesting thoughts @Kyle and @wannabetiedup. My understanding of the "hanky" codes I initially referred to was that they were not meant to be automatically taken as a sign of open invitation, only as a 'stealth' possibility. Further observations of demeanour and behaviour would be required by the 'noticing' of the 'noticed' in order to ascertain if the code was indeed intentional or just a fluke. A person 'in the know' would not instantly approach let alone jump to conclusions.

But that does raise the possibility of a some 'jerk' thinking that they know the secret code and to act on it inappropriately. In that case, I'd say that person is clearly not 'in the know' and could easily be brushed off.

By that I mean, if I wore, say a light blue hanky in my right back pocket of my blue jeans, and I was part of a 'club' where that was encoded to mean a bondage sub, and somehow that information got out to a wider audience, and then someone approached me out of the blue and said "ha! ha! you're a bondage sub aren't ya!" to my face, clearly missing out on all the other 'handshaking' layers of the 'club-cant', much in the same vain as thieves' cant in DnD , then I'd simply fain embarrassment and claim I didn't realize, blue is simply my favourite colour, and promptly store the hanky elsewhere.

Basically, what I am trying to get across is that one should not read too much into accessories and definitely not act upon them as they are most definitely not open invitations nor solicitations in public, even if they are intended to indicate kinky interests for those in the know. Any accessory that may indicate such kinky interests is mostly in the eye of the beholder and several other cues need be present to indicate an actual desire to be approached.

[AnieK]

There are undoubtedly some people who wear certain necklaces, bracelets, etc. because they're into bondage and like the feeling of it. Apparently, some women who like to be tied up like big choker necklaces and big bracelets that somewhat resemble soft cuffs without the chain. Women having a lot more fashion options probably makes it easier for them to wear things like this without also standing out as wearing something obviously kinky, especially if they already wear goth/alt type fashion to begin with.

This leads to the problem with trying to come up with something to advertise your interest without being obvious: some people are going to wear these things without any interest or trying to indicate it who will have no idea someone is going to take it that way.

Completely agree! I wear chokers and collars (the ones with a loop to attach a chain leash as well, if I'm feeling bold) both because they look soooo cute and it also is a nod towards my kinky personality, for myself and anyone who knows that side of me to recognise.
But I definitely do know other girls that couldn't be farther from being into bondage but wear chokers and I feel like there certainly are some people who will see that and lead themselves to a completely wrong idea and even some potential awkwardness

[wannabetiedup]

I might have stepped close to that awkwardness when I was a teenager and it's not a nice place to be lol. But you're right, default setting should be "it means nothing".

By the way, I had the next meeting earlier today with that same person. No sign of the necklace!

[40 plus denier]

Maybe they read your post?

[wannabetiedup]

Maybe they read your post?

Now there's a thought lol.