Sharing intrusive thoughts

[shyguy92]

Especially in the context of our collective hobby here.

Have you ever been talking to someone and let a thought slip out (especially one you would never actually act on), and then immediately lost them?
I had a decent conversation going with someone and I fear I've done just that. I'm both sad and mortified about it.

[copperfox]

Can’t say I’ve ever had any kind of intrusive or potentially offensive thought slip out, but I’ve gotten a bit bolder with casually slipping in references to bondage or kink in otherwise normal conversation with folks (friends, even coworkers) who don’t know this part of me. It’s all in good fun and no one takes me seriously when I do. It ends up just being fun back-and-forth banter, with a foundation of truth hidden in plain sight, as it were.

Also, @shyguy92, might I ask about your situation? Can you elaborate on what you said and why you think you’ve ruined a friendship? Has anything else happened since you posted this? Best of luck to you with regards to whatever situation you’re in, hope all is well.

[shyguy92]

Well, wasn't a firm friendship just yet. A back and forth on here as a matter of fact.

Background: I work with kids. A certain number of them have been rather grating on my nerves of late, and so I've had the occasional idle thought of "It would be so much easier to just tie a couple of them up and put them out of the way for a bit." Which is something I'd obviously never actually do for a whole bunch of good reasons. But the thought does skip across.

But I'm afraid that may have been read as abusive, which was not at all the intent.

Just been dead silence since.

Things are not going well in general, alas. I've had a lot of external stress and personal tragedy lately.

[mserika]

I mean from a person looking from outside they could take that comment as more of a 'man, kids are so handful, huh?' more than a disturbing thought. Of course we weren't there to know if you have said it in a tone that would have suggested it was something more than just a banter... but I think on itself it could just be taken as someone who's exasperated and venting for a bit.

Sorry to hear that things aren't going so good on your side. If you're prone to overthinking and anxiety that kind of incident could really do a good number on you [speaking of experience I myself am prone to think 'did I say something wrong that made this person hate me??']

[StrugglingSue]

Yes, a couple years ago I was at an event with co-workers, including my boss and his wife, someone asked the wife if she was going somewhere later (I think another event). She said something along the lines of 'No, I'll be tied up then', and without thinking I said 'sounds fun' . My boss was amused, his wife was not, lol.

[shyguy92]

I mean from a person looking from outside they could take that comment as more of a 'man, kids are so handful, huh?' more than a disturbing thought. Of course we weren't there to know if you have said it in a tone that would have suggested it was something more than just a banter... but I think on itself it could just be taken as someone who's exasperated and venting for a bit.

Sorry to hear that things aren't going so good on your side. If you're prone to overthinking and anxiety that kind of incident could really do a good number on you [speaking of experience I myself am prone to think 'did I say something wrong that made this person hate me??']

Was all just text, which makes tone difficult to judge.

For your second observation, that's definitely true of me as well, and the world is... uncertain and dark at the moment. I'm probably taking things even more personally than normal.

[shyguy92]

Yes, a couple years ago I was at an event with co-workers, including my boss and his wife, someone asked the wife if she was going somewhere later (I think another event). She said something along the lines of 'No, I'll be tied up then', and without thinking I said 'sounds fun' . My boss was amused, his wife was not, lol.

Wouldn't dare do that in front of my own boss.

[StrugglingSue]

Well, I didn't plan to, it just come out lol.

[adams.keeper]

I'm sorry you had a bad experience @shyguy92. You would think that in a place like this, if somebody said something strange or unwanted, you'd at least ask them about it instead of just ghosting. I suppose your comment was unintentional but even if it hadn't been, I wish this to be a place where you can try and put thoughts into words and see how they land with others.

[shyguy92]

I'm sorry you had a bad experience @shyguy92. You would think that in a place like this, if somebody said something strange or unwanted, you'd at least ask them about it instead of just ghosting. I suppose your comment was unintentional but even if it hadn't been, I wish this to be a place where you can try and put thoughts into words and see how they land with others.

One would indeed hope!
Alas, it's difficult to tell, especially over just text.

Things are probably always going to be rather hit and miss, unfortunately.