Has anyone else encountered "fake" switches or I guess mis-identified switches? A person can identify as any role or position they want, but they have to be clear what they mean when they say it. I am 100% submissive and I admit that I have gotten to the point where if a male is not 90-100% dominant, I would find it difficult to play with him. I have played with far too many switches in my experience who actually end up being very submissive when push comes to shove. I am very clear on my profiles that I am a 100% submissive/brat and while I like to resist and struggle, I ultimately want to be dominated and subdued. But I still have had switches ask me to switch and dominate them.
When I first entered the kink scene via online-roleplaying, I did toy with being dominant for a time. But as I have gotten older, I have found that I am truly submissive at heart and get no pleasure from dominating another individual. But most of the switches I meet are always sub-leaning and they never seem to be in the mood to dominate me or anyone else but they are always up to being dominated. It seems like the "true" switches who love both equally are rare now a days. It probably also does not help that I am black and consider myself asexual. Many have the fantasy of being dominated by a black male dom or BBC, but I sadly cannot do that.
Has anyone else notice this?
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Fake Switches?
Can't say I have. But perhaps that's because I generally look for either pure sub or sub leaning switches. Back when I 1st signed up on this site (4 years ago) I said I was basically pure dom. I had a not so good experience (nothing super bad) years ago that just rubbed me the wrong way and haven't wanted to be tied again. That has changed as I am now a dom leaning switch. Took me meeting a sub leaning switch last year to change that. I wanted his 1st bondage experience to be a memorable one, so after days of hanging out and tying him multiple times, I allowed him an opportunity I didn't think I'd give out again. Can't say I hated it, actually really enjoyed it. I have since met him again this year and switched several more times.
But I have heard several stories from others around the internet. Elsewhere I know of a guy, he's switch and he's in a similar dilemma. Usually he meets someone and usually he does the tying and doesn't get it in return. He doesn't overly complain about it, just expresses some displeasure every so often and moves on.
Honestly I wish I could give everyone that has this problem what they are seeking. But this seems like a good sized issue and I can't be everywhere at once. Distance is another thing and also unfortunately don't vibe with everyone. I'm pretty straight forward with what I want and I make it clear I am a dom leaning switch. I also state my switch side is very dependent on my current mood. Sometimes it'll surface, 70-80% of the time it won't. It's actually a different vibe I need before that mood to switch could surface vs being in the mood to tie them.
I am a white male, so I don't have that issue but like you, I am asexual, so that does limit who I can play woth as some want sex to. That's why even though it's not something I'm truly interested in, I'm somewhat flexible with atleast being open to using wands or maybe even e-stim. But honestly just give me someone I can tie up and mostly ignore them while I game or watch TV and I'm perfectly okay with that. My other interests, while are still interests are not mandatory for me to play
But I have heard several stories from others around the internet. Elsewhere I know of a guy, he's switch and he's in a similar dilemma. Usually he meets someone and usually he does the tying and doesn't get it in return. He doesn't overly complain about it, just expresses some displeasure every so often and moves on.
Honestly I wish I could give everyone that has this problem what they are seeking. But this seems like a good sized issue and I can't be everywhere at once. Distance is another thing and also unfortunately don't vibe with everyone. I'm pretty straight forward with what I want and I make it clear I am a dom leaning switch. I also state my switch side is very dependent on my current mood. Sometimes it'll surface, 70-80% of the time it won't. It's actually a different vibe I need before that mood to switch could surface vs being in the mood to tie them.
I am a white male, so I don't have that issue but like you, I am asexual, so that does limit who I can play woth as some want sex to. That's why even though it's not something I'm truly interested in, I'm somewhat flexible with atleast being open to using wands or maybe even e-stim. But honestly just give me someone I can tie up and mostly ignore them while I game or watch TV and I'm perfectly okay with that. My other interests, while are still interests are not mandatory for me to play
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