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Re: What safe words do you use? All
- tiedinbluetights
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Re: What safe words do you use? All
(FYI: I am not the original author of this thread; I was merely the first to respond to this topic whose OP probably requested to have their account and posts deleted.)
Un-gagged: Most of the time, I'm not gagged, and my wife and I are not into refusing or ignoring the other's pleas, so just a simple "I want out" or "stop" or "no". We also check-in on each other often. (My wife always tops, never switches, but she has the right to decide to stop too--tops have the right, and in some situations even an obligation, to safeword also).
We did negotiate, however, that should we ever one day decide to play a pre-negotiated session with play-denial and play-ignoring, then any "fruit"-based word or colour such as "marmalade", "orange", or "strawberry", would make it stop. (By writing "make it stop", it reminded me of one of the saddest scenes in one of my favourite SciFi RPGs: "The square root of 906.01 ...")
Gagged: dropping a loud heavy object I am to hold onto, or if that is not possible or practical, grunt more than twice in a row or if my hands can do so, knock on something more than twice in a row or even tap my wife more than twice in a row. However, we are quite aware that none of these are foolproof, so my wife will regularly ask very specific yes/no questions to which I must answer with a clear number of grunts/knocks/taps.
Plus there is the whole issue of sub-space, where I become extremely open to any suggestion, unable to say no to anything, and definitely zoned-out, unable to formulate clear precise thoughts and therefore dangerously oblivious to anything that might be going wrong. Hence, my wife/captor has the additional burden of having to know me intimately well enough to recognize the signs and ease-up or stop the game altogether.
Un-gagged: Most of the time, I'm not gagged, and my wife and I are not into refusing or ignoring the other's pleas, so just a simple "I want out" or "stop" or "no". We also check-in on each other often. (My wife always tops, never switches, but she has the right to decide to stop too--tops have the right, and in some situations even an obligation, to safeword also).
We did negotiate, however, that should we ever one day decide to play a pre-negotiated session with play-denial and play-ignoring, then any "fruit"-based word or colour such as "marmalade", "orange", or "strawberry", would make it stop. (By writing "make it stop", it reminded me of one of the saddest scenes in one of my favourite SciFi RPGs: "The square root of 906.01 ...")
Gagged: dropping a loud heavy object I am to hold onto, or if that is not possible or practical, grunt more than twice in a row or if my hands can do so, knock on something more than twice in a row or even tap my wife more than twice in a row. However, we are quite aware that none of these are foolproof, so my wife will regularly ask very specific yes/no questions to which I must answer with a clear number of grunts/knocks/taps.
Plus there is the whole issue of sub-space, where I become extremely open to any suggestion, unable to say no to anything, and definitely zoned-out, unable to formulate clear precise thoughts and therefore dangerously oblivious to anything that might be going wrong. Hence, my wife/captor has the additional burden of having to know me intimately well enough to recognize the signs and ease-up or stop the game altogether.
Last edited by tiedinbluetights 1 month ago, edited 2 times in total.
Open to friendly PMs
(no discord; no roleplays; no story requests)
Because my partner is usually gagged, she opens and closes her hand in a 'flash' as the safe signal. Otherwise she likes to pretend to say no through the gag as part of the fun.
My damsels are always gagged, as such I use two different safe signals. First is for her to snap her fingers. If for some reason she is unable to snap her fingers, then the second signal is to hum a tune into her gag. When either of these signals are used I remove her gag and we assess whatever the problem may be.
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red or humming happy birthday is usually common
Traffic light colours or peaches (who knows the reference lol)
Or 3 mmphs if I can't speak
Or 3 mmphs if I can't speak
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I find it useful to have a combination of a lot of things, or pick based on the very specific scenario.
I've used the "traffic light" system plenty - "red" for stop, also "amber" for slow down but don't necessarily stop. With this the dom will also check in occasionally, if everything's fine it's "green" (probably could have figured out that one on your own). Of course anything to the effect of "stop" will also work unless we've established ahead of time.
Nonverbal signals vary a bit. Shaking head and snapping fingers can work, although neither's perfect. Depending on position can also have someone hold an object (heavy enough that you'd hear it drop the floor) and then drop the object as a signal.
I've used the "traffic light" system plenty - "red" for stop, also "amber" for slow down but don't necessarily stop. With this the dom will also check in occasionally, if everything's fine it's "green" (probably could have figured out that one on your own). Of course anything to the effect of "stop" will also work unless we've established ahead of time.
Nonverbal signals vary a bit. Shaking head and snapping fingers can work, although neither's perfect. Depending on position can also have someone hold an object (heavy enough that you'd hear it drop the floor) and then drop the object as a signal.
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For me it’s always been the traffic light system or snapping fingers of the person is gagged.
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If i can speak, it's "tea cup". I originally started using it as a joke because it is a video game reference, but it stuck. If i can't speak, i tap out like in martial arts.
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When I have a girl well gagged, I tell her to hum “Mary had a little lamb … “ as a signal to stop. It’s hard to not recognize that tune no matter how well gagged she is.
- RotiferTape
- Centennial Club
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- Location: Maryland
Since I’m usually gagged, my first play partner would put a squeak toy in my hand that I would squeeze if I needed something. But I have a bad habit of falling asleep while tied up so I just use three grunts if I need out haha
Climb mountains, camp in deserts, explore jungles, search in tide pools, love your planet.
“Marmalade!†I’m not going to call that out by accident in the height or orgasm.
Or SOS grunted into a gag in Morse code
Or SOS grunted into a gag in Morse code
I don’t use safe words when I do bdsm play.
I’ll discuss hard limits and I’ll signal if I can’t breath or my bondage is cutting off my circulation. But that’s it.
I’ll discuss hard limits and I’ll signal if I can’t breath or my bondage is cutting off my circulation. But that’s it.
Discord tag is taythetay
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Since I'm always gagged and my two personal riggers love my pantyhosed feet, our conventional signal is me snapping my finger and then spread out my toes 
