Relaxing in Bondage [MA]

[copperfox]

Just wanted to share some thoughts that I’ve had regarding a few of my most recent bondage sessions. As I think I’ve mentioned before, I’m not a particularly creative kinda guy, so my go-to position is a nice, strict hogtie with hood and panel gag. I love a good hogtie, as it’s extremely restrictive and I can really feel the sensuality of the restraints and embrace the total inescapability of the bondage.

For me—I can want to be tied up for several reasons. Maybe I’ve had a stressful day, just want to relax, or maybe I’m bored and can’t think of anything else to do at the time. I don’t always ask to be tied up because I’m horny and want a kinky passion-filled night (though that’s also a valid reason…). Whatever the case, after being bound and left to struggle until I’m completely exhausted…of course, I’m always extremely turned on and ready to orgasm. While still hogtied, my wife would happily oblige, then I’d immediately be released—just like I want. Then I’d put my gear and toys away, and generally speaking, that would be that, from a bondage perspective.

Recently (over the last year or so), I’ve added the use of diapers, a grinding pad, and lockable shorts to my hogtie sessions…which allows me to easily orgasm anytime while struggling against my bonds. And this is really the point of the post, because this has been a huge game-changer for me. I think most of us know the feeling of still being tightly tied up right after an orgasm…you know, the I want out right now, I’m so sore this sucks, what am I even doing! feeling (well, that’s what I call it anyway).

Now, with this new setup, I’m hogtied while my wife is in another room either working or studying (with her checking on me on fairly frequently)…but I can now orgasm whenever I want. Sometimes that’s immediately—other times, it could be an hour into being tied up. Either way, I’m now forced to push through that post-orgasm feeling…something that I’d never tried or even had the desire to do before. And for me, I’ve found that this feeling really only lasts for a few minutes (five max?) before completely going away.

And when it does—my body isn’t telling me this sucks anymore, but I’m not turned on at all, either. With the hogtie still as tight as ever, I’m simply in the most comfortable and relaxed state that I think I could be in. My mind isn’t consumed with either the desire to be free or to orgasm, and I can just be. I wouldn’t call it “subspace” necessarily, but there is definitely a new, enjoyable, out-of-body aspect to it that I hadn’t really felt before.

With all that said (and after being put into this position several times now), I’ve found that if I’m left in bondage another 30-45 minutes, I get turned on again (…I’m not actively trying, my body just does that), and I can orgasm a second time. That experience varies, though I can say with great confidence…after that, I really do begin to want out, so much so that I begin seriously questioning the life choices that led me to this position.

[tiedinbluetights]

Recently (over the last year or so), I’ve added the use of diapers, a grinding pad, and lockable shorts to my hogtie sessions…which allows me to easily orgasm anytime while struggling against my bonds. And this is really the point of the post, because this has been a huge game-changer for me. I think most of us know the feeling of still being tightly tied up right after an orgasm…you know, the I want out right now, I’m so sore this sucks, what am I even doing! feeling (well, that’s what I call it anyway).

Thinking back to my own growth in tie-up experiences, from youth to now, that feeling of "wanting out right now" after an orgasm is what probably got me into a lot of other kinks.

I've always found bondage relaxing, and have enjoyed the feel of being tied-up all my life. However, the onset of damned puberty nearly ruined my enjoyment of TUGs (and actually did so for a while), turning an enjoyable innocent game into a shameful one.

Now, I never developed a kink for humiliation, but I did develop kinks for orgasm denial, masochist play, and post-orgasm "torture", all in an attempt to

1. prolong as long as possible the inevitable orgasm and that "wanting out" feeling that immediately follows it, and
2. have that feeling dissipate and ease myself into truly just relaxing and just enjoying the restrictive bondage without the "adult" excitements.

Most of my solo years, doing self bondage, involved elements of training myself to hold back the urge to orgasm as long as possible. When the orgasms came, I'd resist releasing myself as long as I could.

Incidentally, my mostly vanilla wife does not mind my urge to "want out right now" as that means I'd be able to cuddle and spoon after we both had our pleasures. However, she has been also of tremendous help during tie-ups in delaying my orgasms and having me stay tied-up for as long as I desire after having those orgasms. I find that much like you @copperfox, it just takes a couple of minutes or so, and then, if left not-teased, I can stay in the restrictive bondage for nearly an hour before the urge to orgasm returns, and eventually the need to get untied.

However, I have also grown fond of post-orgasm tortures, where my wife teases me immediately after my first orgasm. It immediately by-passes, for me at least, that urge to wanting to be untied. After just a few minutes of teasing the urge to cum returns, and if the teasing stops right there, that's how I drift into the most relaxing mindset I've ever enjoyed. On the other hand, if she does not stop the teasing and I do cum again post first orgasm, the urge to be untied is not there, for me at least, and I can also just relax afterwards into a subspace like state for an hour or so (not that I have a sense of time passed, but my wife keeps track).

Thanks for the post @copperfox

[uemndlr]

Hi @copperfox, could you perhaps explain a bit more about that "diapers, a grinding pad, and lockable shorts" thing? I'd really like to "easily orgasm anytime while struggling", too, but my imagination falls a bit short. How do you orgasm with a grinding pad?

What you describe about that relaxed feeling after the "post-orgasm moment of clarity", as I sometimes call it, sounds really interesting, and I'd like to try that out. I might try wearing some vibrating device, but have the remote control in my hand. We all know that continuing stimulation after orgasm can become very unpleasant, even with something gentler than a grinding pad.

[copperfox]

@uemndlr, I’ll certainly try! Here’s what I’ve found works for for me, but your mileage may vary and you might want to add or modify elements to suit your specific needs or desired sensations. I’ll put this in a list in sequential order, because that’s probably the easiest way to describe my scenario:

• First, strip. That’s the easy part.

• Lay out a large diaper. I specifically use NorthShore’s MegaMax Overnight diapers for a couple of reasons. Primary, I use them because they’re very comfortable, and roomy enough to place the grinder pad in the front-middle section just under my penis. Secondly, as an overnight diaper, the Small size holds 36 oz, which is a really nice benefit for some of my “long” (2-3 hours) sessions. I’ve never had any issues with leaks, and if I’m being honest…I kinda like the feeling that a “full” diaper can provide. I always knew I was kinky and into bondage…but never saw that one coming.

• You may have a different take on this next part, but this is what I do. Lay down over the diaper that’s spread out on the floor. Place the grinder pad, vertically, in the front middle part of the diaper, ensuring that the grinder extends well above the tip of the penis. This will ensure that when you’re hard, there will be plenty of silicone material to grind up against. Carefully maneuver yourself into the diaper, ensuring that the grinder continues to stay in the correct place as you secure the diaper (these diapers are secured with four tape straps on the front).

• Stand up. Squirt a large amount of lube onto your penis and between it and the grinder. I generally will stick my hand in the diaper as well to make sure that there’s a sufficient amount of lube everywhere around my front area. The lube that I use is ID Glide, the water-based version. It’s also the right consistency for me…not too thick and not too thin. But again, you may want to try several different types of lubes to see what feels best for you.

• Now, a little bit about that grinder pad. I didn’t know that these existed until very recently…and only because I’d been searching for a flat textured silicone pad…and finally came across these types of toys. Typically, they’re mean for women to rub up against…and come with a couple straps that are used to strap them to someone’s knee. But again, that’s not what I use it for, so I throw those away. The one that I use comes from Fantasticocks. They have several available under the “Grinders” section, and two different firmness levels. I’d recommend the “soft” version over the “normal”, but you way want to get both just to see what works best for you.

• I should also mention that I also have a couple different versions of the “Magic Eyes Masturbation Sheet” that I bought from Amazon. Essentially, they serve the same purpose in this scenario, but I found that they were too soft and not textured enough for my liking. However, at about $15 (US) a piece, you may want to pick a couple up just to experiment for yourself.

• You could probably stop here and begin getting tied up, and this would work fairly well. In a hogtie, for instance, you should be able to rub up against the floor and orgasm pretty easily I would think. That said, I also have the “Heavy Duty Lockable Diaper Covers” from the StraitJacketShop (on Etsy). These take the expereince to the next level, in that the shorts/covers are locked on with 3 Segufix magnetic locks—one around the waist and one around each thigh. There is a middle strap that goes up the crotch and can be strapped and locked on fairly tight. When I do this, the strap works to hold the grinder pad firmly in place, so I can struggle all I want without the grinder moving out of place (e.g., to the side of the diaper where I wouldn’t be able to rub up against it). This strap also firmly keeps the grinder snug against my crotch, so I can not only “hump the floor” (as my wife calls it), but can orgasm very easily by making any kind of “humping” motion in any position (like on my side while hogtied).

• Just a last note to say that the grinder doesn’t provide any unwanted, unpleasant, or overstimulating sensation after an orgasm. It’s just there…until I want to try to orgasm again. Similarly, when struggling, I can certainly feel the grinder pad (and it feels good), but it won’t make me orgasm if I don’t want to. So, for me, it provides the best of both worlds.

Hope this helps! Feel free to let me know if you have any other questions. Also, I’d love to hear if you figure out a better way of doing this, or come up with any other interesting modifications to the setup.

[meacham6]

Some of my favorite bondage fantasies are of me simply being hogtied in a closet and left alone. I think it can be therapeutic in a way. I think that, for people who feel like they have to constantly be productive, bondage offers an escape where you are ridden of responsibilities. There isn't anything you can do at all until you are released.

[uemndlr]

Thank you @copperfox for the explanations and clarifications! I had searched for images of "grinding pad" and what I saw didn't look like something I'd like near my private parts

I've never been interested in diapers, and I'm still looking for a vibrator that would work for me. I once bought a vibrating cockring, but it wasn't exciting neither for my wife nor me... In fact, the feeling was so weird for her, she laughed her a** off!

I agree with @meacham6 about the soothing quality of that forced downtime. It's so uncommon wasting all that time doing nothing at all! But why "fantasies", after all it doesn't sound like an inexecutable scenario, does it?

[meacham6]

I agree with @meacham6 about the soothing quality of that forced downtime. It's so uncommon wasting all that time doing nothing at all! But why "fantasies", after all it doesn't sound like an inexecutable scenario, does it?

My real life experiences are few and far between, and self bondage hasn't really done it for me. I want to get a time release of some kind, because if my release is within reach at all times, then I tend to get bored or anxious rather quickly.

[copperfox]

My real life experiences are few and far between, and self bondage hasn't really done it for me. I want to get a time release of some kind, because if my release is within reach at all times, then I tend to get bored or anxious rather quickly.

In addition to the more common “ice lock” kind of releases used for self bondage, another idea maybe to get a time lock safe. I bought a fairly heavy duty one (a fire proof safe) several years back that I use to lock my keys in if I want to make sure that there’s truly no escape until the set time has elapsed. The safe can be set to be opened anywhere from about 15 minutes to 12 hours. The timer is spring-wound and not electronically-actuated, so it’s not absolutely precise. However, I bought this version with the mindset that it would be more reliable and not susceptible to electronic failure. A family friend and neighbor holds the key to the safe.

The way this works is that the safe is set to a specific time and locked. While there is a numeric keypad on the safe, the code can only unlock the safe once the set time has elapsed. With the key, however, the safe can be unlocked at any time.

Just an option if you’re looking to ensure if you’re looking to create a truly inescapable kind of situation.

[uemndlr]

I can confirm what @copperfox described about post-orgasm bondage. Funny I never thought of that!

I always wanted to sleep while tied up, and I never could. Not that the bondage was uncomfortable, but it was too exciting, thus distracting. But yesterday evening, I tied myself simply hands and feet, right after helping myself to a little climax, ignoring that thought of "why am I even doing this". And then I was simply lying there, very relaxed, comfortable, snuggly...

I'm not completely sure whether I actually slept, or was just dozing away, I never checked the clock and couldn't say how long I was tied up. To free myself, I need to stand up, which means that the suffering needs to surpass my laziness. And when I finally did, the rope marks on my wrists indicated that it must have been well above one hour or so.