Friends Special (The One with the Kidnapping Van) [F/FM] [FF/M]
Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2025 8:02 pm
Title: The One with the Kidnapper Van
Opening Scene
[Scene opens with Ross pulling up in a white minivan in front of Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Rachel are waiting on the sidewalk with small bags. Ross gets out of the van, looking proud.]
Ross: Alright, ladies! Our chariot awaits. Spacious, fuel-efficient, and might I add, excellent lumbar support.
Monica (raising an eyebrow): Ross, this isn’t a chariot. This is... a kidnapping van.
Rachel: (laughing) Oh my God, yes! This is exactly the kind of van you see in movies where people get tied up and thrown in the back.
Ross: (defensive) It’s not a kidnapping van! It’s a practical rental! Do you know how hard it is to find something under budget that’s big enough for three people and snacks?
Monica: (smirking) Sure, Ross. Just admit it. You’ve always wanted to fulfill your dream of becoming Long Island’s most polite kidnapper.
Rachel: (giggling) “Excuse me, ma’am, would you mind stepping into the van? There’s ample legroom.â€
Ross: (rolling his eyes) You know what? I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. Now, let’s get going before I regret offering to drive.
[Monica and Rachel exchange amused looks as they climb into the van.]
Cut to them driving down the highway, Rachel in the passenger seat, Monica in the back with snacks.
Scene: Ross driving the white minivan down a lonely desert road. Rachel is in the passenger seat, and Monica is in the back with an open bag of snacks. The sun is setting, casting an orange glow over the barren landscape.
Monica: (leaning forward) Hey, Rach, earlier, when you said people are “tied up and thrown in,†what exactly did you mean?
Rachel: Oh, you know! Like, they’re tied up with their hands behind their backs, their mouths covered with tape or those... uh, what do you call them? Over-the-mouth gags? Totally unable to talk.
Monica: (nodding) Oh, right! Like that scene in Ulee’s Gold! You know, where the three women are tied up—
Rachel: (snapping her fingers) Yes! Exactly like that!
Monica: (thoughtfully) Or, like all those times Lynda Carter got tied up and gagged on Wonder Woman.
Rachel: (excited) Yes, exactly like Lynda Carter! Wait—(pauses and narrows her eyes at Monica)—Mon, I didn’t know you watched Wonder Woman. I mean, come on, you’re an adult now.
Monica: (glancing at Ross with a smirk) Oh, it’s not me. Ross is the one who watches that show.
Rachel: (turning to Ross, mock-seriously) Wow, Ross. You still watch kids’ shows? That... explains a lot.
Ross: (annoyed, keeping his eyes on the road) Wonder Woman is not a kids’ show! It’s a cultural icon and a masterpiece of television.
Rachel: (grinning) Oh, sure. Very sophisticated. Nothing says high art like a lasso of truth.
Monica: (mocking) Or a golden tiara boomerang.
Ross: (finally snapping, turning his head slightly) You know what? You two need to stop talking rubbish, or I swear, I’ll tie you up myself and shut your mouths.
[Monica and Rachel burst out laughing, clearly not taking him seriously.]
Rachel: (giggling) Oh, look at him! He’s so mad. I think he just imagined himself as the villain in his Wonder Woman fantasy.
Monica: (laughing) “Dr. Ross: Kidnapper Extraordinaire.â€
Ross: (grumbling, under his breath) I need better friends.
[The laughter continues as they drive further into the desert, the mood light but the tension building for what’s to come.]
Scene: The minivan continues down the lonely desert road. The sun has dipped below the horizon, and the sky is now a deep blue. Inside, the conversation heats up as the trio continues their banter.
Ross: (smirking) You know, Rachel, if there ever was a kidnapping situation, you’d be the first to get caught—and probably the last to escape.
Rachel: (spinning toward him, incredulous) Excuse me?! What’s that supposed to mean?
Monica: (jumping in, laughing) Oh, come on, Rach. You’d totally panic! I mean, you scream at spiders. You’d be useless in a high-stakes situation.
Rachel: (indignant) That’s not true! I could totally escape! I’m scrappy!
Ross: (chuckling) Scrappy? You? Please. You’d be too busy screaming about your shoes getting scuffed to even notice the ropes.
Monica: (grinning) I can bet anything you’d be the last one out of that situation.
Rachel: (pointing at Monica) Oh, sure, like you’re some action hero. What are you gonna do, organize the kidnappers into letting you go?
Monica: (mocking Rachel) “Oh no, my sweater! Is there at least organic duct tape?!â€
Rachel: (crossing her arms) You two are unbelievable. I don’t understand why you siblings think I couldn’t escape.
Ross and Monica: (in unison, with exaggerated nodding) Of course, you can’t.
Rachel: (throws her hands up) I can’t believe this!
Monica: (turning to Ross) Can I drive? I’m getting bored back here.
Ross: (firmly) Later.
Rachel: (to Monica) Oh, you get to drive, but apparently, I can’t escape from imaginary kidnappers.
Monica: (ignoring Rachel) Ross, I’m serious. Let me drive. You’ve been at it for hours.
Ross: (annoyed) I said later, Mon!
Rachel: (sarcastically) Wow. Bossy and judgmental. Great siblings I’ve got here.
[The minivan rolls down the road as Rachel glares out the window and Monica crosses her arms in the back, both stewing slightly while Ross looks exasperated.]
Scene: The minivan continues down the lonely desert road. Rachel, bored out of her mind, starts rummaging through the glove compartment and storage areas in the front seat. Ross is driving, focused on the road, while Monica lounges in the back with snacks.
Rachel: (pulling out items) Let’s see what we’ve got here… maps, old receipts, oh, what’s this? (She holds up four rolls of duct tape and a DVD of Ulee’s Gold.)
Monica: (leaning forward to look) Oh my God, Rachel! Look at that DVD cover! The women are totally tied up.
Rachel: (eyeing Ross suspiciously) Ross, are you sure this van wasn’t used to kidnap people?
Ross: (sighing, exasperated) Yes, Rachel. It’s just a rental! The duct tape is for emergencies, and the DVD is probably from the last renter.
Rachel: (smirking) Right. Because everyone keeps duct tape and Ulee’s Gold on hand. Very suspicious.
Monica: (grinning) And, you know, even if this was a kidnapper’s van, you wouldn’t escape.
Rachel: (glaring) Oh, I am sick of you siblings teasing me like I’m some helpless damsel in distress!
[She turns to Monica with a determined look.]
Rachel: Alright, Mon, be a dear and tie me up with this tape.
Ross: (glancing at her in disbelief) What?!
Rachel: (getting out of the front seat and moving to the back) I’ll show you both that I’m not some silly damsel.
Monica: (grinning and tearing open a roll of duct tape) Oh, this is going to be fun.
[Monica begins wrapping Rachel’s arms and legs with tape, taking her time and clearly enjoying herself. She even wraps tape around Rachel’s chest, above and below, securing her tightly.]
Rachel: (confidently) Okay, now I’ll show you guys that I can—
Monica: (standing up, interrupting) Rachel, you know, one thing is missing.
Rachel: (confused) Missing? What?
[Monica picks up the Ulee’s Gold DVD and shows Rachel the cover. Rachel looks at the image of the women gagged with tape and suddenly understands.]
Rachel: (wide-eyed, pleading) Oh no, Monica, wait! I just put on expensive lipstick today—
[But Monica doesn’t listen. She tears off a piece of duct tape and, as Rachel struggles and protests, firmly presses it over her mouth.]
Rachel: (muffled) Mmmph!
Monica: (smiling, sitting down next to Ross in the front) There. Now it’s perfect.
Ross: (glancing in the rearview mirror at Rachel) Well, she finally stopped talking. It’s kind of nice.
Monica: (laughing) See? Not so much of a damsel now, huh?
[In the back seat, Rachel glares at both of them, wriggling against the tape but unable to say anything.]
Ross: (grinning) Should we untie her, or let her prove her “escape artist†skills?
Monica: Let’s give her some time. She’s got to show us she’s not helpless, right?
[The siblings share a laugh as Rachel furiously struggles against her bindings, her muffled protests adding to the absurdity of the situation.]
Scene: Rachel continues to wriggle and struggle in the back of the van, her muffled protests filling the silence. Ross and Monica sit in the front, chatting casually as if nothing unusual is happening.
Monica: (looking in the rearview mirror) You know, for someone taped up, Rachel actually looks kinda... good.
Ross: (glancing back briefly) Yeah, she pulls off the “helpless damsel†look surprisingly well.
Monica: (smirking) And you have to admit, it’s kind of nice having it this quiet for once.
[Rachel glares at them and lets out a loud, muffled “Mmmph!†but they ignore her.]
Monica: (turning to Ross) Alright, Ross, let me drive.
Ross: (firmly) No, Monica. I’ve got it.
Monica: (rolling her eyes) Fine. Then pull over for a minute. I need to check something in the back.
Ross: (suspiciously) What do you need to check?
Monica: (innocently) Oh, just making sure Rachel’s, you know, comfortable back there.
[Ross sighs but pulls the van over to the side of the desert road. Monica hops out and gestures for Ross to follow.]
Monica: Come on, open the back doors with me.
Ross: (reluctantly) Fine, but only for a second.
[They walk to the back of the van and open the doors, revealing Rachel still tied up, her eyes narrowing as she sees them approach.]
Monica: (grinning) Perfect.
[Before Ross can react, Monica shoves him into the van, climbs in after him, and shuts the doors. A brief struggle ensues, with Ross protesting.]
Ross: (as Monica ties him up) Monica! What are you doing? You’re my sister! This is completely unnecessary—
[Two minutes later, Monica stands up, brushing her hands off triumphantly. Ross is now tied up, his arms, legs, and chest wrapped securely in duct tape.]
Monica: (smiling) Finally, I can drive.
Ross: (glaring) You’re unbelievable.
[Rachel mumbles something through her gag and gestures toward Ross with her head.]
Ross: (mocking Rachel) Oh, what now, Rachel? Trying to give her more ideas? Nice try.
[As Ross mocks her, Rachel isn’t looking at him but at Monica. Ross notices too late the sound of tape being unrolled. He turns to see Monica holding more duct tape.]
Ross: (panicking) Monica, no. I’m your brother! Your flesh and blood! I love you very much, and it wouldn’t be nice to—
[Monica promptly presses the tape over his mouth, wrapping it securely around his head, the same way she did to Rachel.]
Monica: (sighing, satisfied) Finally, some peace and quiet.
[Ross and Rachel exchange muffled protests, wriggling and glaring at Monica, who just smirks at them.]
Monica: (playfully) You know, you two actually look pretty good together all tied up like that. Very... coordinated.
[She climbs into the driver’s seat, adjusts the mirror to see them struggling in the back, and starts the van.]
Monica: (to herself) Now this is the kind of road trip I can enjoy.
[Ross and Rachel continue to make muffled noises, wriggling in frustration as Monica drives off into the desert, humming happily to herself.]
Fade out as the van speeds down the road with Ross and Rachel still struggling in the back.
Scene: Monica is happily driving the minivan, humming a tune, while Ross and Rachel are still tied up in the back, struggling and making muffled noises. The van bounces slightly on the uneven desert road.
Rachel: (muffled, wriggling furiously) Mmmph!
Ross: (muffled, glaring at Rachel) Mmmph-mmmph!
[They twist and squirm, trying to free themselves, but the tape holds tight. In their struggling, Ross and Rachel inch closer together, their faces just inches apart.]
Rachel: (muffled, wide-eyed) Mmmph!
Ross: (muffled, equally wide-eyed) Mmmph?!
[The van hits a small bump, and the jolt causes Ross and Rachel to lurch forward. Their faces accidentally press together, resulting in a muffled kiss over the tape. Both freeze in shock.]
Monica: (glances in the rearview mirror and sees the moment) Oh. My. God.
[Monica slams on the brakes, and the van screeches to a halt. She spins around in her seat, her jaw dropping as she looks at the two of them.]
Monica: (laughing hysterically) Did you two just—oh my God, you did! You just kissed!
Rachel: (muffled, shaking her head furiously) Mmmph!
Ross: (muffled, also shaking his head) Mmmph-mmmph!
Monica: (teasing) Don’t try to deny it! I saw the whole thing. You guys are such a cute couple, all tied up and making out.
[Ross and Rachel glare at Monica, their faces red with embarrassment. They both start wriggling even harder, clearly trying to get away from each other now.]
Monica: (grinning) Oh, come on, it was bound to happen eventually. All that bickering is just unresolved tension.
[She bursts out laughing again, then turns back to the wheel and starts driving, still giggling to herself.]
Monica: (to herself) Best road trip ever.
[Ross and Rachel exchange a quick glance, then both look away, their muffled protests continuing as they struggle in awkward silence.]
Fade out as the van continues down the desert road.
Scene: The van continues down the lonely desert road, with Monica humming and Ross and Rachel still struggling in the back. Monica occasionally glances in the rearview mirror, amused by their muffled protests and squirming.
Ross: (muffled, glaring at Rachel) Mmmph!
Rachel: (muffled, rolling her eyes) Mmmph!
[They continue wriggling against the tape, their movements getting more desperate. Suddenly, Rachel manages to roll over onto her side, her fingers brushing against Ross's taped hands.]
Rachel: (muffled, excited) Mmmph!
Ross: (muffled, confused) Mmmph?
[Realizing she might be able to use Ross's hands to help herself, Rachel starts maneuvering her bound hands against his.]
Monica: (glancing back, suspicious) What are you two up to? No funny business back there!
[Rachel finally manages to use Ross's taped fingers to loosen a part of her bindings. She lets out a series of excited, muffled noises as she pulls her hands free.]
Rachel: (muffled, triumphantly raising her arms) Mmmph-mmmph-mmmph!
Monica: (mocking) Oh, wow, look at you, Rachel Houdini.
[Ignoring her, Rachel quickly frees her legs and makes a dramatic flourish before tearing the tape off her mouth.]
Rachel: (grinning smugly) Look, Ross! I’m out before you. I win!
Ross: (muffled, annoyed, glaring at her) Mmmph!
[Ross struggles and makes pleading noises through his gag, nodding his head toward Rachel to ask for help. Rachel smirks and looks at Monica, who watches with amusement.]
Monica: (teasing) Maybe he needs a little more tape to calm down.
Rachel: (grabbing a roll of tape with a mischievous grin) Great idea, Mon.
Ross: (muffled, shaking his head) Mmmph-mmmph!
[Rachel approaches Ross, and he looks hopeful as she carefully removes the tape from his mouth. He gasps in relief.]
Ross: (relieved) Oh, thank you, Rachel! I thought I’d be—
Rachel: (interrupting, grinning) Mention not!
[Rachel promptly starts reapplying the tape over Ross’s mouth, wrapping it snugly several times around his head, just like the women in Ulee’s Gold.]
Monica: (laughing) Wow, Rachel. That’s some excellent work. Very professional.
Ross: (muffled, furious) Mmmph!
Rachel: (smirking) I’ve wanted to do this for a very long time.
[Rachel sits beside Monica in the front, crossing her legs smugly while Ross struggles and makes muffled protests in the back.]
Rachel: (to Monica) You know, Mon, why don’t you join your brother back there? Keep him company.
Monica: (laughing) Oh, you’d love that, wouldn’t you?
Rachel: (mock-seriously) I think it’s only fair. You tied both of us up first, after all.
[Monica smirks, but before she can respond, Ross lets out a particularly loud muffled yell, causing both women to burst into laughter.]
Rachel: (looking back at Ross, grinning) You know, you look good like that, Ross. Really ties the whole “damsel†look together.
[Monica chuckles as she keeps driving, Rachel leaning back in her seat, looking smug, while Ross continues his futile struggles in the back.]
Fade out as the van drives off into the sunset, with Rachel and Monica chatting in the front and Ross making muffled noises in the back.
Scene: Rachel sits comfortably in the passenger seat, adjusting her hair and looking smug. Ross, still bound and gagged in the back, writhes in frustration, letting out muffled protests. Monica smirks as she drives, enjoying the peace.
Rachel: (turning to Monica) You know, it’s so much quieter now. Maybe we should keep Ross like that permanently.
Monica: (laughing) It’s tempting, but we’ll let him out eventually. Maybe.
[Ross glares at both of them, his muffled noises growing louder.]
Rachel: (mocking) Aw, what’s that, Ross? Oh, sorry, we can’t hear you over the sound of how much fun we’re having.
Monica: (grinning) You know, Rachel, maybe you’re onto something. He does look good like that.
[Rachel laughs, but then an idea strikes her. She grabs the roll of tape again and dangles it in front of Monica.]
Rachel: Speaking of “quiet,†Mon, don’t you think it’s your turn? You did tie me up first.
Monica: (laughing nervously) Oh, no, no. I’m driving. Someone’s gotta keep us on the road.
Rachel: (smirking) Oh, don’t worry, I can drive.
[Rachel lunges at Monica, and after a brief struggle, she manages to steer the van to a stop on the side of the road. Rachel drags Monica to the back of the van while Monica protests.]
Monica: Rachel! I swear, if you—
[Rachel starts wrapping tape around Monica’s wrists, legs, and chest while Ross watches, muffled and wide-eyed.]
Rachel: (mocking) Oh, don’t be such a baby, Mon. You’ll look great next to your brother.
[Monica, now fully tied up, glares at Rachel.]
Monica: (sarcastically) You’re so dead when I get out of this.
[Rachel laughs and rips off a strip of tape.]
Rachel: Sorry, Mon. No talking allowed.
[Monica struggles, but Rachel presses the tape over her mouth, wrapping it neatly, just like she did with Ross.]
Rachel: (stepping back to admire her work) Perfect! You two look adorable together.
[Rachel hops back into the driver’s seat and starts driving again, glancing in the rearview mirror to watch Ross and Monica wriggling side by side.]
Rachel: (laughing to herself) This is the best road trip ever.
[In the back, Ross and Monica glare at each other as they struggle. In their movements, they inadvertently lean too close to each other. Another bump in the road causes their faces to collide in an accidental kiss over the tape.]
Rachel: (glancing in the mirror, her eyes widening) Oh. My. God.
[She slams on the brakes, and the van screeches to a halt. She turns around, pointing at them with mock shock.]
Rachel: Wow. Just… wow. Incest much?!
[Ross and Monica look horrified, their muffled protests growing louder as they shake their heads in denial.]
Rachel: (laughing hysterically) Oh, this is too good. I can’t wait to tell everyone about this!
[Monica and Ross exchange panicked glances, both squirming furiously now to escape.]
Rachel: (mocking) You know, you two make a cute couple. Maybe we should leave you tied up together for a while.
[After a moment of hesitation, Rachel sighs dramatically and climbs to the back.]
Rachel: Alright, alright. I guess I’ll let one of you go.
[She ungags Monica first.]
Monica: (furious) Rachel, you’re the worst—
Rachel: (cutting her off) Yeah, yeah. Save it.
[Rachel then removes the tape from Monica’s hands, freeing her. Monica immediately lunges for the roll of tape and grabs it.]
Monica: (grinning) Your turn, Rach!
[Rachel screams as Monica tackles her, but the scene fades out with laughter, muffled noises, and the sound of duct tape being ripped.]
Scene: The van is parked on the side of the road. Monica is now free, sitting in the back with Ross still tied up and gagged. Rachel, partially taped up by Monica in retaliation, is sitting in the front seat, pouting.
Rachel: (turning back) You know, I still won, technically. I escaped first.
Monica: (rolling her eyes) Oh, give it a rest, Rachel.
[Ross makes muffled noises, glaring at both of them.]
Monica: (looking at Ross and sighing) Alright, alright. I guess it’s time to let you talk.
Rachel: (grinning) Wow, Monica. What a soft heart you have for your brother.
Monica: (ignoring Rachel) Just don’t make me regret this, Ross.
[Monica carefully removes the tape from Ross’s mouth. He gasps for air dramatically before glaring at both women.]
Ross: (angrily) What is wrong with you two?! First, you tie me up, then you mock me, and now you’re sitting there acting like this is all normal!
Rachel: (smirking) Oh, relax, Ross. You’re just mad because I escaped first.
Ross: (sarcastically) Oh, yes, Rachel. That’s exactly it. You’re the queen of escaping. Let’s ignore the fact that you tied me up again after pretending to help me!
Monica: (grinning) Oh, come on, Ross. You had fun. Admit it.
Ross: (glaring at Monica) Fun? You gagged me! And don’t even get me started on that whole accidental kissing thing.
Rachel: (bursting into laughter) Oh, yeah, let’s not forget that! “Ross and Monica sitting in a tree…â€
Ross: (furious) Stop it, Rachel!
Monica: (blushing) Can we not talk about that, please?
[Rachel leans back in her seat, grinning, while Ross frowns at Monica.]
Ross: (sarcastically) Oh, so now you feel bad for me?
Monica: (sincerely) A little. But don’t push it.
Rachel: (teasing) You know, Mon, if you’re feeling bad, you could always switch places with him.
Monica: (glaring) Don’t even think about it, Rachel.
Ross: (sarcastically) Yeah, because that would be fair.
Rachel: (grinning at Ross) Hey, you still look cute all tied up. Want me to fix the gag for you?
[Ross groans, leaning back against the van wall, while Monica grabs the roll of tape threateningly.]
Monica: (pointing it at Rachel) One more word, and you’re back in the tape.
[Rachel immediately shuts up, but her smug grin doesn’t fade. Monica sighs and starts untying Ross while Rachel whistles innocently.]
Fade out as the three of them sit in awkward silence, driving back on the road.
Scene: The van is driving steadily down the desert road. Ross, still tied up and visibly annoyed, sits in the back while Monica and Rachel chat in the front.
Ross: (muffled, glaring) Mmmph!
Monica: (turning to Rachel) You know, this is the most peaceful road trip I’ve ever had.
Rachel: (laughing) Same here. Ross looks much better as a “strong, silent type.â€
Ross: (muffled, frustrated, shaking his head) Mmmph-mmmph!
[Monica sighs and turns to look at him.]
Monica: Alright, fine. I’m feeling a little bad. Let’s untie him.
Ross: (nodding vigorously, hopeful) Mmmph!
[As Monica starts moving toward him, Ross narrows his eyes.]
Ross: (angrily) You know what, Monica? Don’t bother! Just leave me here tied up, alone, and in peace!
[Monica freezes, raising an eyebrow. Rachel turns to look at her, stifling a laugh.]
Rachel: (mocking) Wow, Mon. He really wants to stay like that.
[Monica smirks, and Rachel hands her a fresh roll of duct tape with a mischievous grin.]
Ross: (realizing) No, no, no—wait! I didn’t mean that!
[Monica tears off a long strip of tape and leans toward Ross.]
Monica: (grinning) Oh, too late now, little brother.
[Monica expertly wraps tape around Ross’s gag, adding another layer to ensure he stays quiet. He protests loudly through the layers but to no avail.]
Rachel: (laughing) Nice touch, Mon. That’s some premium gag work.
[Monica moves back to the front seat, sitting next to Rachel, who slides into the driver’s seat.]
Monica: (sighing contentedly) Alright, Rachel. You can drive. Let’s just enjoy this peaceful ride.
[Rachel starts the van, and the two women sit close together, chatting and laughing. Suddenly, the van hits a speed bump, jolting them forward. Their faces accidentally bump together, resulting in a quick kiss.]
Rachel: (pulling back, wide-eyed) Oh!
Monica: (blushing, laughing nervously) Wow. Uh, that was unexpected.
[They share a look and then burst out laughing.]
Rachel: (grinning) You know what? I’ve got an idea.
[Rachel pulls the van to a stop, grabs her lipstick, and begins applying it carefully. Monica watches her, intrigued.]
Monica: (raising an eyebrow) What are you up to now?
Rachel: (smirking) Just watch.
[Rachel gets out of the front seat and climbs into the back where Ross is still struggling. She leans in close to him, her freshly applied lipstick gleaming.]
Ross: (muffled, panicked) Mmmph?!
Rachel: (teasing) Relax, Ross. You’re gonna love this.
[Rachel plants a kiss directly on Ross’s taped mouth, leaving a perfect lipstick imprint on the gag. She pulls back, admiring her work.]
Rachel: (grinning) Mon, you’ve got to try this.
[Monica climbs into the back, laughing as she grabs the lipstick and applies it to her lips.]
Monica: (teasing) Alright, why not?
[She leans in and kisses Ross over the gag as well, leaving her own lipstick mark. Ross looks absolutely mortified, his muffled protests louder than ever.]
Rachel: (laughing) Oh my God, he looks like a modern art piece!
Monica: (grinning) Definitely a masterpiece.
[The two women collapse into laughter as Ross struggles furiously, the double lipstick marks on his gag making him look utterly ridiculous.]
Rachel: (wiping a tear from laughing so hard) This trip just keeps getting better and better.
[They return to the front seat, leaving Ross in the back, still gagged and now kissed, as the van drives off into the sunset.]
Opening Scene
[Scene opens with Ross pulling up in a white minivan in front of Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Rachel are waiting on the sidewalk with small bags. Ross gets out of the van, looking proud.]
Ross: Alright, ladies! Our chariot awaits. Spacious, fuel-efficient, and might I add, excellent lumbar support.
Monica (raising an eyebrow): Ross, this isn’t a chariot. This is... a kidnapping van.
Rachel: (laughing) Oh my God, yes! This is exactly the kind of van you see in movies where people get tied up and thrown in the back.
Ross: (defensive) It’s not a kidnapping van! It’s a practical rental! Do you know how hard it is to find something under budget that’s big enough for three people and snacks?
Monica: (smirking) Sure, Ross. Just admit it. You’ve always wanted to fulfill your dream of becoming Long Island’s most polite kidnapper.
Rachel: (giggling) “Excuse me, ma’am, would you mind stepping into the van? There’s ample legroom.â€
Ross: (rolling his eyes) You know what? I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. Now, let’s get going before I regret offering to drive.
[Monica and Rachel exchange amused looks as they climb into the van.]
Cut to them driving down the highway, Rachel in the passenger seat, Monica in the back with snacks.
Scene: Ross driving the white minivan down a lonely desert road. Rachel is in the passenger seat, and Monica is in the back with an open bag of snacks. The sun is setting, casting an orange glow over the barren landscape.
Monica: (leaning forward) Hey, Rach, earlier, when you said people are “tied up and thrown in,†what exactly did you mean?
Rachel: Oh, you know! Like, they’re tied up with their hands behind their backs, their mouths covered with tape or those... uh, what do you call them? Over-the-mouth gags? Totally unable to talk.
Monica: (nodding) Oh, right! Like that scene in Ulee’s Gold! You know, where the three women are tied up—
Rachel: (snapping her fingers) Yes! Exactly like that!
Monica: (thoughtfully) Or, like all those times Lynda Carter got tied up and gagged on Wonder Woman.
Rachel: (excited) Yes, exactly like Lynda Carter! Wait—(pauses and narrows her eyes at Monica)—Mon, I didn’t know you watched Wonder Woman. I mean, come on, you’re an adult now.
Monica: (glancing at Ross with a smirk) Oh, it’s not me. Ross is the one who watches that show.
Rachel: (turning to Ross, mock-seriously) Wow, Ross. You still watch kids’ shows? That... explains a lot.
Ross: (annoyed, keeping his eyes on the road) Wonder Woman is not a kids’ show! It’s a cultural icon and a masterpiece of television.
Rachel: (grinning) Oh, sure. Very sophisticated. Nothing says high art like a lasso of truth.
Monica: (mocking) Or a golden tiara boomerang.
Ross: (finally snapping, turning his head slightly) You know what? You two need to stop talking rubbish, or I swear, I’ll tie you up myself and shut your mouths.
[Monica and Rachel burst out laughing, clearly not taking him seriously.]
Rachel: (giggling) Oh, look at him! He’s so mad. I think he just imagined himself as the villain in his Wonder Woman fantasy.
Monica: (laughing) “Dr. Ross: Kidnapper Extraordinaire.â€
Ross: (grumbling, under his breath) I need better friends.
[The laughter continues as they drive further into the desert, the mood light but the tension building for what’s to come.]
Scene: The minivan continues down the lonely desert road. The sun has dipped below the horizon, and the sky is now a deep blue. Inside, the conversation heats up as the trio continues their banter.
Ross: (smirking) You know, Rachel, if there ever was a kidnapping situation, you’d be the first to get caught—and probably the last to escape.
Rachel: (spinning toward him, incredulous) Excuse me?! What’s that supposed to mean?
Monica: (jumping in, laughing) Oh, come on, Rach. You’d totally panic! I mean, you scream at spiders. You’d be useless in a high-stakes situation.
Rachel: (indignant) That’s not true! I could totally escape! I’m scrappy!
Ross: (chuckling) Scrappy? You? Please. You’d be too busy screaming about your shoes getting scuffed to even notice the ropes.
Monica: (grinning) I can bet anything you’d be the last one out of that situation.
Rachel: (pointing at Monica) Oh, sure, like you’re some action hero. What are you gonna do, organize the kidnappers into letting you go?
Monica: (mocking Rachel) “Oh no, my sweater! Is there at least organic duct tape?!â€
Rachel: (crossing her arms) You two are unbelievable. I don’t understand why you siblings think I couldn’t escape.
Ross and Monica: (in unison, with exaggerated nodding) Of course, you can’t.
Rachel: (throws her hands up) I can’t believe this!
Monica: (turning to Ross) Can I drive? I’m getting bored back here.
Ross: (firmly) Later.
Rachel: (to Monica) Oh, you get to drive, but apparently, I can’t escape from imaginary kidnappers.
Monica: (ignoring Rachel) Ross, I’m serious. Let me drive. You’ve been at it for hours.
Ross: (annoyed) I said later, Mon!
Rachel: (sarcastically) Wow. Bossy and judgmental. Great siblings I’ve got here.
[The minivan rolls down the road as Rachel glares out the window and Monica crosses her arms in the back, both stewing slightly while Ross looks exasperated.]
Scene: The minivan continues down the lonely desert road. Rachel, bored out of her mind, starts rummaging through the glove compartment and storage areas in the front seat. Ross is driving, focused on the road, while Monica lounges in the back with snacks.
Rachel: (pulling out items) Let’s see what we’ve got here… maps, old receipts, oh, what’s this? (She holds up four rolls of duct tape and a DVD of Ulee’s Gold.)
Monica: (leaning forward to look) Oh my God, Rachel! Look at that DVD cover! The women are totally tied up.
Rachel: (eyeing Ross suspiciously) Ross, are you sure this van wasn’t used to kidnap people?
Ross: (sighing, exasperated) Yes, Rachel. It’s just a rental! The duct tape is for emergencies, and the DVD is probably from the last renter.
Rachel: (smirking) Right. Because everyone keeps duct tape and Ulee’s Gold on hand. Very suspicious.
Monica: (grinning) And, you know, even if this was a kidnapper’s van, you wouldn’t escape.
Rachel: (glaring) Oh, I am sick of you siblings teasing me like I’m some helpless damsel in distress!
[She turns to Monica with a determined look.]
Rachel: Alright, Mon, be a dear and tie me up with this tape.
Ross: (glancing at her in disbelief) What?!
Rachel: (getting out of the front seat and moving to the back) I’ll show you both that I’m not some silly damsel.
Monica: (grinning and tearing open a roll of duct tape) Oh, this is going to be fun.
[Monica begins wrapping Rachel’s arms and legs with tape, taking her time and clearly enjoying herself. She even wraps tape around Rachel’s chest, above and below, securing her tightly.]
Rachel: (confidently) Okay, now I’ll show you guys that I can—
Monica: (standing up, interrupting) Rachel, you know, one thing is missing.
Rachel: (confused) Missing? What?
[Monica picks up the Ulee’s Gold DVD and shows Rachel the cover. Rachel looks at the image of the women gagged with tape and suddenly understands.]
Rachel: (wide-eyed, pleading) Oh no, Monica, wait! I just put on expensive lipstick today—
[But Monica doesn’t listen. She tears off a piece of duct tape and, as Rachel struggles and protests, firmly presses it over her mouth.]
Rachel: (muffled) Mmmph!
Monica: (smiling, sitting down next to Ross in the front) There. Now it’s perfect.
Ross: (glancing in the rearview mirror at Rachel) Well, she finally stopped talking. It’s kind of nice.
Monica: (laughing) See? Not so much of a damsel now, huh?
[In the back seat, Rachel glares at both of them, wriggling against the tape but unable to say anything.]
Ross: (grinning) Should we untie her, or let her prove her “escape artist†skills?
Monica: Let’s give her some time. She’s got to show us she’s not helpless, right?
[The siblings share a laugh as Rachel furiously struggles against her bindings, her muffled protests adding to the absurdity of the situation.]
Scene: Rachel continues to wriggle and struggle in the back of the van, her muffled protests filling the silence. Ross and Monica sit in the front, chatting casually as if nothing unusual is happening.
Monica: (looking in the rearview mirror) You know, for someone taped up, Rachel actually looks kinda... good.
Ross: (glancing back briefly) Yeah, she pulls off the “helpless damsel†look surprisingly well.
Monica: (smirking) And you have to admit, it’s kind of nice having it this quiet for once.
[Rachel glares at them and lets out a loud, muffled “Mmmph!†but they ignore her.]
Monica: (turning to Ross) Alright, Ross, let me drive.
Ross: (firmly) No, Monica. I’ve got it.
Monica: (rolling her eyes) Fine. Then pull over for a minute. I need to check something in the back.
Ross: (suspiciously) What do you need to check?
Monica: (innocently) Oh, just making sure Rachel’s, you know, comfortable back there.
[Ross sighs but pulls the van over to the side of the desert road. Monica hops out and gestures for Ross to follow.]
Monica: Come on, open the back doors with me.
Ross: (reluctantly) Fine, but only for a second.
[They walk to the back of the van and open the doors, revealing Rachel still tied up, her eyes narrowing as she sees them approach.]
Monica: (grinning) Perfect.
[Before Ross can react, Monica shoves him into the van, climbs in after him, and shuts the doors. A brief struggle ensues, with Ross protesting.]
Ross: (as Monica ties him up) Monica! What are you doing? You’re my sister! This is completely unnecessary—
[Two minutes later, Monica stands up, brushing her hands off triumphantly. Ross is now tied up, his arms, legs, and chest wrapped securely in duct tape.]
Monica: (smiling) Finally, I can drive.
Ross: (glaring) You’re unbelievable.
[Rachel mumbles something through her gag and gestures toward Ross with her head.]
Ross: (mocking Rachel) Oh, what now, Rachel? Trying to give her more ideas? Nice try.
[As Ross mocks her, Rachel isn’t looking at him but at Monica. Ross notices too late the sound of tape being unrolled. He turns to see Monica holding more duct tape.]
Ross: (panicking) Monica, no. I’m your brother! Your flesh and blood! I love you very much, and it wouldn’t be nice to—
[Monica promptly presses the tape over his mouth, wrapping it securely around his head, the same way she did to Rachel.]
Monica: (sighing, satisfied) Finally, some peace and quiet.
[Ross and Rachel exchange muffled protests, wriggling and glaring at Monica, who just smirks at them.]
Monica: (playfully) You know, you two actually look pretty good together all tied up like that. Very... coordinated.
[She climbs into the driver’s seat, adjusts the mirror to see them struggling in the back, and starts the van.]
Monica: (to herself) Now this is the kind of road trip I can enjoy.
[Ross and Rachel continue to make muffled noises, wriggling in frustration as Monica drives off into the desert, humming happily to herself.]
Fade out as the van speeds down the road with Ross and Rachel still struggling in the back.
Scene: Monica is happily driving the minivan, humming a tune, while Ross and Rachel are still tied up in the back, struggling and making muffled noises. The van bounces slightly on the uneven desert road.
Rachel: (muffled, wriggling furiously) Mmmph!
Ross: (muffled, glaring at Rachel) Mmmph-mmmph!
[They twist and squirm, trying to free themselves, but the tape holds tight. In their struggling, Ross and Rachel inch closer together, their faces just inches apart.]
Rachel: (muffled, wide-eyed) Mmmph!
Ross: (muffled, equally wide-eyed) Mmmph?!
[The van hits a small bump, and the jolt causes Ross and Rachel to lurch forward. Their faces accidentally press together, resulting in a muffled kiss over the tape. Both freeze in shock.]
Monica: (glances in the rearview mirror and sees the moment) Oh. My. God.
[Monica slams on the brakes, and the van screeches to a halt. She spins around in her seat, her jaw dropping as she looks at the two of them.]
Monica: (laughing hysterically) Did you two just—oh my God, you did! You just kissed!
Rachel: (muffled, shaking her head furiously) Mmmph!
Ross: (muffled, also shaking his head) Mmmph-mmmph!
Monica: (teasing) Don’t try to deny it! I saw the whole thing. You guys are such a cute couple, all tied up and making out.
[Ross and Rachel glare at Monica, their faces red with embarrassment. They both start wriggling even harder, clearly trying to get away from each other now.]
Monica: (grinning) Oh, come on, it was bound to happen eventually. All that bickering is just unresolved tension.
[She bursts out laughing again, then turns back to the wheel and starts driving, still giggling to herself.]
Monica: (to herself) Best road trip ever.
[Ross and Rachel exchange a quick glance, then both look away, their muffled protests continuing as they struggle in awkward silence.]
Fade out as the van continues down the desert road.
Scene: The van continues down the lonely desert road, with Monica humming and Ross and Rachel still struggling in the back. Monica occasionally glances in the rearview mirror, amused by their muffled protests and squirming.
Ross: (muffled, glaring at Rachel) Mmmph!
Rachel: (muffled, rolling her eyes) Mmmph!
[They continue wriggling against the tape, their movements getting more desperate. Suddenly, Rachel manages to roll over onto her side, her fingers brushing against Ross's taped hands.]
Rachel: (muffled, excited) Mmmph!
Ross: (muffled, confused) Mmmph?
[Realizing she might be able to use Ross's hands to help herself, Rachel starts maneuvering her bound hands against his.]
Monica: (glancing back, suspicious) What are you two up to? No funny business back there!
[Rachel finally manages to use Ross's taped fingers to loosen a part of her bindings. She lets out a series of excited, muffled noises as she pulls her hands free.]
Rachel: (muffled, triumphantly raising her arms) Mmmph-mmmph-mmmph!
Monica: (mocking) Oh, wow, look at you, Rachel Houdini.
[Ignoring her, Rachel quickly frees her legs and makes a dramatic flourish before tearing the tape off her mouth.]
Rachel: (grinning smugly) Look, Ross! I’m out before you. I win!
Ross: (muffled, annoyed, glaring at her) Mmmph!
[Ross struggles and makes pleading noises through his gag, nodding his head toward Rachel to ask for help. Rachel smirks and looks at Monica, who watches with amusement.]
Monica: (teasing) Maybe he needs a little more tape to calm down.
Rachel: (grabbing a roll of tape with a mischievous grin) Great idea, Mon.
Ross: (muffled, shaking his head) Mmmph-mmmph!
[Rachel approaches Ross, and he looks hopeful as she carefully removes the tape from his mouth. He gasps in relief.]
Ross: (relieved) Oh, thank you, Rachel! I thought I’d be—
Rachel: (interrupting, grinning) Mention not!
[Rachel promptly starts reapplying the tape over Ross’s mouth, wrapping it snugly several times around his head, just like the women in Ulee’s Gold.]
Monica: (laughing) Wow, Rachel. That’s some excellent work. Very professional.
Ross: (muffled, furious) Mmmph!
Rachel: (smirking) I’ve wanted to do this for a very long time.
[Rachel sits beside Monica in the front, crossing her legs smugly while Ross struggles and makes muffled protests in the back.]
Rachel: (to Monica) You know, Mon, why don’t you join your brother back there? Keep him company.
Monica: (laughing) Oh, you’d love that, wouldn’t you?
Rachel: (mock-seriously) I think it’s only fair. You tied both of us up first, after all.
[Monica smirks, but before she can respond, Ross lets out a particularly loud muffled yell, causing both women to burst into laughter.]
Rachel: (looking back at Ross, grinning) You know, you look good like that, Ross. Really ties the whole “damsel†look together.
[Monica chuckles as she keeps driving, Rachel leaning back in her seat, looking smug, while Ross continues his futile struggles in the back.]
Fade out as the van drives off into the sunset, with Rachel and Monica chatting in the front and Ross making muffled noises in the back.
Scene: Rachel sits comfortably in the passenger seat, adjusting her hair and looking smug. Ross, still bound and gagged in the back, writhes in frustration, letting out muffled protests. Monica smirks as she drives, enjoying the peace.
Rachel: (turning to Monica) You know, it’s so much quieter now. Maybe we should keep Ross like that permanently.
Monica: (laughing) It’s tempting, but we’ll let him out eventually. Maybe.
[Ross glares at both of them, his muffled noises growing louder.]
Rachel: (mocking) Aw, what’s that, Ross? Oh, sorry, we can’t hear you over the sound of how much fun we’re having.
Monica: (grinning) You know, Rachel, maybe you’re onto something. He does look good like that.
[Rachel laughs, but then an idea strikes her. She grabs the roll of tape again and dangles it in front of Monica.]
Rachel: Speaking of “quiet,†Mon, don’t you think it’s your turn? You did tie me up first.
Monica: (laughing nervously) Oh, no, no. I’m driving. Someone’s gotta keep us on the road.
Rachel: (smirking) Oh, don’t worry, I can drive.
[Rachel lunges at Monica, and after a brief struggle, she manages to steer the van to a stop on the side of the road. Rachel drags Monica to the back of the van while Monica protests.]
Monica: Rachel! I swear, if you—
[Rachel starts wrapping tape around Monica’s wrists, legs, and chest while Ross watches, muffled and wide-eyed.]
Rachel: (mocking) Oh, don’t be such a baby, Mon. You’ll look great next to your brother.
[Monica, now fully tied up, glares at Rachel.]
Monica: (sarcastically) You’re so dead when I get out of this.
[Rachel laughs and rips off a strip of tape.]
Rachel: Sorry, Mon. No talking allowed.
[Monica struggles, but Rachel presses the tape over her mouth, wrapping it neatly, just like she did with Ross.]
Rachel: (stepping back to admire her work) Perfect! You two look adorable together.
[Rachel hops back into the driver’s seat and starts driving again, glancing in the rearview mirror to watch Ross and Monica wriggling side by side.]
Rachel: (laughing to herself) This is the best road trip ever.
[In the back, Ross and Monica glare at each other as they struggle. In their movements, they inadvertently lean too close to each other. Another bump in the road causes their faces to collide in an accidental kiss over the tape.]
Rachel: (glancing in the mirror, her eyes widening) Oh. My. God.
[She slams on the brakes, and the van screeches to a halt. She turns around, pointing at them with mock shock.]
Rachel: Wow. Just… wow. Incest much?!
[Ross and Monica look horrified, their muffled protests growing louder as they shake their heads in denial.]
Rachel: (laughing hysterically) Oh, this is too good. I can’t wait to tell everyone about this!
[Monica and Ross exchange panicked glances, both squirming furiously now to escape.]
Rachel: (mocking) You know, you two make a cute couple. Maybe we should leave you tied up together for a while.
[After a moment of hesitation, Rachel sighs dramatically and climbs to the back.]
Rachel: Alright, alright. I guess I’ll let one of you go.
[She ungags Monica first.]
Monica: (furious) Rachel, you’re the worst—
Rachel: (cutting her off) Yeah, yeah. Save it.
[Rachel then removes the tape from Monica’s hands, freeing her. Monica immediately lunges for the roll of tape and grabs it.]
Monica: (grinning) Your turn, Rach!
[Rachel screams as Monica tackles her, but the scene fades out with laughter, muffled noises, and the sound of duct tape being ripped.]
Scene: The van is parked on the side of the road. Monica is now free, sitting in the back with Ross still tied up and gagged. Rachel, partially taped up by Monica in retaliation, is sitting in the front seat, pouting.
Rachel: (turning back) You know, I still won, technically. I escaped first.
Monica: (rolling her eyes) Oh, give it a rest, Rachel.
[Ross makes muffled noises, glaring at both of them.]
Monica: (looking at Ross and sighing) Alright, alright. I guess it’s time to let you talk.
Rachel: (grinning) Wow, Monica. What a soft heart you have for your brother.
Monica: (ignoring Rachel) Just don’t make me regret this, Ross.
[Monica carefully removes the tape from Ross’s mouth. He gasps for air dramatically before glaring at both women.]
Ross: (angrily) What is wrong with you two?! First, you tie me up, then you mock me, and now you’re sitting there acting like this is all normal!
Rachel: (smirking) Oh, relax, Ross. You’re just mad because I escaped first.
Ross: (sarcastically) Oh, yes, Rachel. That’s exactly it. You’re the queen of escaping. Let’s ignore the fact that you tied me up again after pretending to help me!
Monica: (grinning) Oh, come on, Ross. You had fun. Admit it.
Ross: (glaring at Monica) Fun? You gagged me! And don’t even get me started on that whole accidental kissing thing.
Rachel: (bursting into laughter) Oh, yeah, let’s not forget that! “Ross and Monica sitting in a tree…â€
Ross: (furious) Stop it, Rachel!
Monica: (blushing) Can we not talk about that, please?
[Rachel leans back in her seat, grinning, while Ross frowns at Monica.]
Ross: (sarcastically) Oh, so now you feel bad for me?
Monica: (sincerely) A little. But don’t push it.
Rachel: (teasing) You know, Mon, if you’re feeling bad, you could always switch places with him.
Monica: (glaring) Don’t even think about it, Rachel.
Ross: (sarcastically) Yeah, because that would be fair.
Rachel: (grinning at Ross) Hey, you still look cute all tied up. Want me to fix the gag for you?
[Ross groans, leaning back against the van wall, while Monica grabs the roll of tape threateningly.]
Monica: (pointing it at Rachel) One more word, and you’re back in the tape.
[Rachel immediately shuts up, but her smug grin doesn’t fade. Monica sighs and starts untying Ross while Rachel whistles innocently.]
Fade out as the three of them sit in awkward silence, driving back on the road.
Scene: The van is driving steadily down the desert road. Ross, still tied up and visibly annoyed, sits in the back while Monica and Rachel chat in the front.
Ross: (muffled, glaring) Mmmph!
Monica: (turning to Rachel) You know, this is the most peaceful road trip I’ve ever had.
Rachel: (laughing) Same here. Ross looks much better as a “strong, silent type.â€
Ross: (muffled, frustrated, shaking his head) Mmmph-mmmph!
[Monica sighs and turns to look at him.]
Monica: Alright, fine. I’m feeling a little bad. Let’s untie him.
Ross: (nodding vigorously, hopeful) Mmmph!
[As Monica starts moving toward him, Ross narrows his eyes.]
Ross: (angrily) You know what, Monica? Don’t bother! Just leave me here tied up, alone, and in peace!
[Monica freezes, raising an eyebrow. Rachel turns to look at her, stifling a laugh.]
Rachel: (mocking) Wow, Mon. He really wants to stay like that.
[Monica smirks, and Rachel hands her a fresh roll of duct tape with a mischievous grin.]
Ross: (realizing) No, no, no—wait! I didn’t mean that!
[Monica tears off a long strip of tape and leans toward Ross.]
Monica: (grinning) Oh, too late now, little brother.
[Monica expertly wraps tape around Ross’s gag, adding another layer to ensure he stays quiet. He protests loudly through the layers but to no avail.]
Rachel: (laughing) Nice touch, Mon. That’s some premium gag work.
[Monica moves back to the front seat, sitting next to Rachel, who slides into the driver’s seat.]
Monica: (sighing contentedly) Alright, Rachel. You can drive. Let’s just enjoy this peaceful ride.
[Rachel starts the van, and the two women sit close together, chatting and laughing. Suddenly, the van hits a speed bump, jolting them forward. Their faces accidentally bump together, resulting in a quick kiss.]
Rachel: (pulling back, wide-eyed) Oh!
Monica: (blushing, laughing nervously) Wow. Uh, that was unexpected.
[They share a look and then burst out laughing.]
Rachel: (grinning) You know what? I’ve got an idea.
[Rachel pulls the van to a stop, grabs her lipstick, and begins applying it carefully. Monica watches her, intrigued.]
Monica: (raising an eyebrow) What are you up to now?
Rachel: (smirking) Just watch.
[Rachel gets out of the front seat and climbs into the back where Ross is still struggling. She leans in close to him, her freshly applied lipstick gleaming.]
Ross: (muffled, panicked) Mmmph?!
Rachel: (teasing) Relax, Ross. You’re gonna love this.
[Rachel plants a kiss directly on Ross’s taped mouth, leaving a perfect lipstick imprint on the gag. She pulls back, admiring her work.]
Rachel: (grinning) Mon, you’ve got to try this.
[Monica climbs into the back, laughing as she grabs the lipstick and applies it to her lips.]
Monica: (teasing) Alright, why not?
[She leans in and kisses Ross over the gag as well, leaving her own lipstick mark. Ross looks absolutely mortified, his muffled protests louder than ever.]
Rachel: (laughing) Oh my God, he looks like a modern art piece!
Monica: (grinning) Definitely a masterpiece.
[The two women collapse into laughter as Ross struggles furiously, the double lipstick marks on his gag making him look utterly ridiculous.]
Rachel: (wiping a tear from laughing so hard) This trip just keeps getting better and better.
[They return to the front seat, leaving Ross in the back, still gagged and now kissed, as the van drives off into the sunset.]