The Samantha Ward Fun Time Damsel Variety Hour (M/F)
Posted: Wed Jun 02, 2021 8:02 am
“Good evening Miss Wardâ€
“Mmmpphh mpphâ€
“I’m sorry, I can’t understand you with that thing in your mouthâ€
“Mmm mmmphh mmp mpph mppphâ€
“Here, let meâ€
“Say, thanks for removing my gag Misterâ€
“Don’t mention itâ€
“But you seem to have me at a disadvantage - I’m afraid we’ve yet to be formally introducedâ€
“Oh, how rude of me - I’m your interrogator for the eveningâ€
“You are? How delightful, and is there a Mrs Interrogator? I’d shake your hand but one of your colleagues saw fit to tie them behind my backâ€
“So I seeâ€
“Not that I’m complaining you understandâ€
“Of course notâ€
“I appreciate that you all have jobs to do,â€
“That’s very accommodating of youâ€
“But maybe you can tell him to go a little easier on the rope - he’s got me wrapped up tight like a Christmas gooseâ€
“No doubt a sensible precaution considering your much vaunted skills as an escape artistâ€
“Hrumph, well, that’s as maybe, but perhaps next time he can try to use a less abrasive material- wait, you mean to say you’ve heard of me?â€
“Who hasn't? The teen detective in the pleated skirt who has managed to solve countless crimes despite getting tied up in almost every one of her cases? I imagine everyone in the Crookville criminal community has heard of you!â€
“Sounds like someone’s a fan of my blog - would you like me to sign something before I go? My school tie perhaps? You won’t believe how much the genuine articles go for on e-bayâ€
“And your customers, by any chance do they pay extra for the scarves f they’ve been used to gag you?â€
"My, my what a capital idea - do you really think they would?â€
“I've got a hunch they just mightâ€
“Haha! Well, I never. Maybe you should charge a consultation fee?"
"That's okay, if you answer all my questions we'll call it even"
"Ah yes, the 'interrogation' you mentioned earlier. So, how do you want this to play out?â€
“Well, it’s relatively standard, boiler plate stuff - I ask you a bunch of questions - you answer them, in full, leaving out no detail, however insignificantâ€
“And if I refuse?â€
“Just to be clear, are you refusing to answer my questions?â€
“Not yet, but I’d like to explore all my options before I make a firm commitment either way,..â€
“Well, I can respect that - okay, let me put it this way, if you do prove to be uncooperative then I might be obliged to torture youâ€
“Whips, chains, leather straps, don’t threaten me with a good timeâ€
“Ah, I had a feeling you might say thatâ€
“Oh?â€
“Which is why I bought this insteadâ€
“A giant yellow feather?!â€
“That’s right Sam, a giant yellow featherâ€
“I don’t understand, are you going to feed me to the bird that that belonged to, or-
Hey! Why are you taking my shoes and socks off?â€
“Shh, spoilers!â€
“Mmmphhh mmmp mpppph mphhhh!â€
“Now, where were we? Oh yes, that’s right. You were about to tell me every last detail of your plan to bring my employer to justice, or I was going to introduce this giant feather to the soles of your feetâ€
“Mmph mmpphhh!â€
“Oh, wouldn’t I?â€
“Mmm mmm mmmm, mmmp mmmp mmppp, mmmp mmmp mmmmmpph, mmmp mpph, mmpppp mmmppppppppphhâ€
“There. Now, are you ready to cooperate?â€
“Ok, ok you win. I’ll talk, I’ll talkâ€
“An excellent decisionâ€
“Wait a minuteâ€
“Yes?â€
“I didn’t say stop,..â€
“Mmmpphh mpphâ€
“I’m sorry, I can’t understand you with that thing in your mouthâ€
“Mmm mmmphh mmp mpph mppphâ€
“Here, let meâ€
“Say, thanks for removing my gag Misterâ€
“Don’t mention itâ€
“But you seem to have me at a disadvantage - I’m afraid we’ve yet to be formally introducedâ€
“Oh, how rude of me - I’m your interrogator for the eveningâ€
“You are? How delightful, and is there a Mrs Interrogator? I’d shake your hand but one of your colleagues saw fit to tie them behind my backâ€
“So I seeâ€
“Not that I’m complaining you understandâ€
“Of course notâ€
“I appreciate that you all have jobs to do,â€
“That’s very accommodating of youâ€
“But maybe you can tell him to go a little easier on the rope - he’s got me wrapped up tight like a Christmas gooseâ€
“No doubt a sensible precaution considering your much vaunted skills as an escape artistâ€
“Hrumph, well, that’s as maybe, but perhaps next time he can try to use a less abrasive material- wait, you mean to say you’ve heard of me?â€
“Who hasn't? The teen detective in the pleated skirt who has managed to solve countless crimes despite getting tied up in almost every one of her cases? I imagine everyone in the Crookville criminal community has heard of you!â€
“Sounds like someone’s a fan of my blog - would you like me to sign something before I go? My school tie perhaps? You won’t believe how much the genuine articles go for on e-bayâ€
“And your customers, by any chance do they pay extra for the scarves f they’ve been used to gag you?â€
"My, my what a capital idea - do you really think they would?â€
“I've got a hunch they just mightâ€
“Haha! Well, I never. Maybe you should charge a consultation fee?"
"That's okay, if you answer all my questions we'll call it even"
"Ah yes, the 'interrogation' you mentioned earlier. So, how do you want this to play out?â€
“Well, it’s relatively standard, boiler plate stuff - I ask you a bunch of questions - you answer them, in full, leaving out no detail, however insignificantâ€
“And if I refuse?â€
“Just to be clear, are you refusing to answer my questions?â€
“Not yet, but I’d like to explore all my options before I make a firm commitment either way,..â€
“Well, I can respect that - okay, let me put it this way, if you do prove to be uncooperative then I might be obliged to torture youâ€
“Whips, chains, leather straps, don’t threaten me with a good timeâ€
“Ah, I had a feeling you might say thatâ€
“Oh?â€
“Which is why I bought this insteadâ€
“A giant yellow feather?!â€
“That’s right Sam, a giant yellow featherâ€
“I don’t understand, are you going to feed me to the bird that that belonged to, or-
Hey! Why are you taking my shoes and socks off?â€
“Shh, spoilers!â€
“Mmmphhh mmmp mpppph mphhhh!â€
“Now, where were we? Oh yes, that’s right. You were about to tell me every last detail of your plan to bring my employer to justice, or I was going to introduce this giant feather to the soles of your feetâ€
“Mmph mmpphhh!â€
“Oh, wouldn’t I?â€
“Mmm mmm mmmm, mmmp mmmp mmppp, mmmp mmmp mmmmmpph, mmmp mpph, mmpppp mmmppppppppphhâ€
“There. Now, are you ready to cooperate?â€
“Ok, ok you win. I’ll talk, I’ll talkâ€
“An excellent decisionâ€
“Wait a minuteâ€
“Yes?â€
“I didn’t say stop,..â€