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now this'll potentially be a bit of an emotional update, so fair warning lol. Hope you enjoy!
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As Johnny clamped my mouth shut with his massive hand, I instantly had to resist the urge to panic and fight...
'It's ok, you're safe, he won't hurt you, he's not Shae, you're ok, you're in control here...' I thought to myself, repeating the words like a mental mantra.
"Mmmmph...!" I whimpered softly, John's grip was incredibly tight, both on my face, and around my waist... with hindsight I'm sure he wasn't meaning to be rough, he's just a very large man who probably forgets his own strength sometimes...
'You're safe here, he's not going to hurt you, you're ok, you're in control, he's not going... to stop... He's not going to stop, oh god, he wants to... no!!'
As he tightened his hold on me while I tried to stay calm, I found myself struggling more intensely trying to get free. In other words...
I began to panic.
"Mmmmph! Nommmmph! Nommmmph!" I began to whimper and grunt into the huge Dom's hand, fighting to get free of him. Though I knew it to be untrue, my mind had carried me back to the alley, I was back in the clutches of that monster... The knife, his hand, that sound... that sound of him unzipping his pants... that noise was seared into my brain, and I heard it again, clear as day...
Danny had stood up from leaning on the pillar and walked over to check on me.
"Johnny, ease up bro..." Danny tapped the large muscular man on the shoulder, and almost immediately the poor gentle giant, who I think was just now realising the extent of what he'd agreed to help me with, fully released me and stepped back as quickly as he could.
"Em? You okay girl?" Danny asked me urgently.
Holding onto the huge Marine's arms, I did my best to regain my composure, I slowed down my breathing, wiping a tear from my eye...
John had stumbled back into one of the pillars, his hands on his head, clearly seeing how distressed I was. "Danny... I ca-... Fuck I can't do this mate!"
Katie got up from the bench and walked over to comfort him, taking him aside as Danny stayed with me.
"Hey Johnny it's ok sweetie, you take the rest of the night off, ok? On us." Kate lead him to the door on the other side of the huge room to pack his gear.
Meanwhile, I was squeezing Danny's tattooed forearms like my life depended on it... I was not ok...
"Emma, calm down girl, you're safe here, remember? It's me, Danny, I'd never hurt you girl..."
Trying to calm my breathing somehow made me start hyperventilating, the more Danny tried to reassure me I was fine, the more ashamed I felt...
I looked at the girl in the mirror, and despised what I saw looking back at me.
I was still just a victim, a used piece of shit that had been taken advantage of, that vile bastard Shae had left his mark on me forever...
I would've collapsed to my knees had Danny not caught me... I began to cry hysterically, there in the dark, dim room, I don't know why I thought this could ever work, nothing could make me normal again.
"I can't do this... I caaan't doo thiihiiss!" I sobbed in despair.
"I'm so sorry, Emma..." I could hear his voice quiver, he was sad, pitying me, and why not? There was so much to pity...
I sobbed into Danny's huge, solid chest. Distraught, hopeless, dehumanised...
But then, I felt him look up, and he began to stand up and break his hug with me. And so there I was, half-laying on the floor, tears streaming down my face...
And a pair of footsteps slowly approached me from behind...
"Take... my.... hand..."
I knew that voice, that beautiful, angelic voice... I knew it well...
And I knew the feel of the soft, smooth hand that lightly grasped mine.
"Take my whole... life... too."
I looked into the mirror, still sobbing profusely, still drowning in my own despair, but even through the tears, even in the dim, all-encompassing darkness. I saw them...
"For I.... can't.... help..."
I saw my Valerie, holding my hand, resting her head gently upon my shoulder, tears in her eyes, but gently, reassuringly kissing my tear-soaked cheek...
"Falling, in love...
With...
You."
And I saw Bethany, her beautiful voice resounding throughout the room, she was struggling to sing through her own sadness, her own cries of pain, her own tears... But she sang to me nonetheless

She took my other hand, and my girls raised me back onto my feet.
As I turned to face her, she wiped my eyes with her thumb, caressing me tenderly, softly, sweetly...
Then I turned to face Val, who caressed my face as well, taking one of my wrists, as Beth took the other...
I tensed up at their touch on my bare skin, but then I looked back in the mirror... Light was returning to the room, Katie had seen John on his way, and was turning the dial back up to restore the brightness of the ceiling lights...
I could see my beautiful girls' faces, and I saw devotion in their eyes, I saw patience, I saw kindness.
I saw love
I looked at Beth, who continued to sing, despite the tears still on her face.
"Shall... I.... Stay?" She asked through the lyrics.
I took a deep breath, and nodded. They both smiled at me, and pulled my hands slowly, gently behind my back... Valerie stroked my hair gently with her free hand, kissing me again on the cheek, doing everything in her power to reassure me I was safe.
Beth was handed a length of rope by Danny, who then walked off to join Katie across the room.
"Would it be... A... Sin?" Beth kept singing, regaining her composure, her voice was indescribable, it was the most soothing, most beautiful, most nurturing sound I'd ever heard. As though an angel had descended from Heaven, and was guarding me from the whole world with the power of her beautiful, sweet, soft song...
Even as she succeeded in placing the rope, slowly, carefully around my wrists.
I tensed up again, breathing heavily, unevenly, but staying strong for my girls, feeling protected by my girls... Whenever I felt I was about to drift back to the night in the alley, Bethany pulled me back from the brink with her gorgeous voice.
"If I... can't... help..."
Valerie looked in my eyes, wiping more of my tears away. She smiled at me, and I smiled back at her. She cupped my cheek in her hand, before running it down my neck...
My instinct was to flinch away, but she kept her eyes locked with mine, silently reassuring me, silently telling me she would never, ever hurt me, that I was strong, that I could endure this.
Bethany tied off the rope around my wrists, the bonds were loose, they were easing me in, letting me feel the helplessness, letting me slowly embrace it, rather than let it overwhelm me.
I turned back to face my raven-haired, emerald, tall Italian Angel.
She gazed longingly into my eyes.
"Falling..."
She edged her face closer to me, and I to her.
"In Love..."
I closed my eyes, she closed hers.
"With..."
Our lips met in the most loving kiss two human beings have ever shared.
Then we parted... and she spoke from her heart to mine...
"You."
I smiled, sniffing away the last of my tears, feeling a sense of safety and love overcome the doubts, and the self-hatred in my heart.
"We've got you baby." Valerie hugged me tightly, I nestled my head against her shoulder, the ropes entwining my wrists preventing me from hugging her back. "Focus on us." She told me.
And I did, I looked back into the mirror, into the bright, clear reflection that stood before me.
And I loved what I saw.
I didn't see a victim, I saw a poet, an artist, a girlfriend, a daughter, a friend...
I saw a young woman who, although she was in a great deal of pain, would not be defined for the rest of her life by a single night, would not be remembered as "that girl who was molested", would not let herself believe that she was hopeless nor helpless...
I saw Valerie Page, a girl I loved more than anything.
I saw Bethany Bellucci, a girl I loved more than anyone.
I saw Emma O'Reilly... Not a victim...
A Survivor.
I nodded to my girls, trusting them completely...giving them my permission to do with me as they wished
TO BE CONTINUED