Santa and I
“Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!†I shout with tears pouring down my cheeks.
How bittersweet it is to be here. I spent six Christmases here. Some 19 pairs of eyes stare back at me. That’s 2 guards and 15 inmates; 2 of the inmates have glasses. Alongside me is an elf, an elf who helps me hand out Christmas cookies to each of the 15 inmates. I not only hand them a homemade confection but also a lifeline. One inmate cries so happily that I cry too.
We came here first, to Pod F, because it is here where I met my elf some 8 years before this. We were different then. My elf was a coke junkie who’d been busted carrying; I was a vagabond. I still am a bit of a vagabond, but now I express it differently. We’re not the same people we were in those days. For example, my elf and best friend is a better Catholic than I. We’re married and have children now. How far I’ve come from a miscreant who knew cops by their first name.
“Maddy, thank you so much for coming,†the younger Pod F guard, one Hannah Larsson, says to me, “I’ll see you later this afternoon,†she wiggles her eyebrows as I leave.
“Let’s go, bestie,†I say to Kendra before we turn left and head down the hall to Pod E.
Hannah Larsson was one of my podmates. Kendra and I overlapped with Hannah, and Hannah is now a guard in the same Pod F in which we were incarcerated those years ago. Now, going over to Pod E, we encounter another girl who also was here at the same time as Hannah, but she is an angelic girl named Hannah Jones instead. As I walk up the hall to Pod G, I pass by one of the prison’s hall guards, a girl named Destiny Reilly, who also once was a resident of Pod F.
The Mudville Juvenile Detention Center is a beacon of a hope for some and a tomb for others. It was inside this place where Kendra and I lost our virginity to a monstrous guard and his goons; it was inside this place where Kendra and I met and began to reclaim our narratives. My six prison cell IDs were B05, D12, E08, G16, F04, and F15. I was G16 when they closed the old Mudville juvie and transported all of the girls into this facility. Ironically, Kendra was F04 as well.
“Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!†I say in this pod, a place that is disturbingly familiar.
“Hiiiii Mary-Ann!†my old podmate, Kylie, greets me while she leads a group therapy session.
“I don’t mean to interrupt anything. An especially Merry Christmas to you girls!†I smile.
“Cookies for everyone!†Kendra eagerly moves along the pod, “We love you girls!
“What she means, girls,†Kylie says as we leave, “is that they once were inmates like you.â€
“WOW!†I hear a voice say in amazement as we leave.
My phone rings. It’s my cousin, Bernadette. What a time! Bernadette and her mother were the most important lifeline to me when I was in here, but I cannot talk and have to silence my phone and send her a text to explain instead. My Voisin relations are the world to me, but Bernadette is the leading figure of them all. She, like me, was an only child, but her childhood experience was different in every way possible. Her parents loved her, unlike mine. Her parents didn’t go away on vacation and leave her behind starting when she was 7 or 8 years old. Her parents cooked for her and didn’t make a separate dinner for themselves or leave her to fend for herself. I turned 23 before I even knew my mother’s maiden name because my mother was such a mess.
First it was foster care; then it was running away because I didn’t want to be there; then it was to Juvenile Detention, where I had 15 other girls as effective housemates, a dependable school, gym to burn off my angst, meals I didn’t have to cook myself, and mass every Sunday without fear of a foster family tying me up or beating me for being a “wicked Papist.†I didn’t have to run away in fear because my foster father had just stripped naked and ripped my own shirt off.
Then happiness happened. Kendra. Hannah and Hannah. Destiny. Kylie. Other friends. Then I was really blessed when one Nathan Jamison walked up to me and asked me on a date to which I eagerly said yes. Now, he’s my husband, and I am his wife. Together, we’re the parents of a girl I named Penelope Kendra after the girl right beside me. How I love both Penny and Kenny.
“Ho, ho, ho!†I burst into Pod H with Kendra behind me.
“Merry Christmas, girls!†Kendra heartily agreed with me and passed out more cookies,
“I hope no one's at the gym tonight, because they're missing out!†one girl said.
I didn't know a lot of things until they were explained to me, whether by textbooks or by one of my teachers or a guard. I knew that I lost my innocence the day that guard took me aside and put his junk inside my body. He took my virginity and my blissful view of life. Yes, in spite of it all, I was still blissful and aloof in many ways. I was 15 and didn't know how to turn on a computer; I was in the lab to take a computer programming class! But 17 is unforgettable because of them. Kylie, Kendra, Jackie, and I all lost our remaining dignity in that man’s handcuffs. Every girl in the building knows Jackie since she's a gym instructor. I only learned after my homeless phase that a girl can get pregnant even if she doesn't want to get pregnant. I also only learned there, in Bernadette’s home, that I made national headlines on my last arrest. I’m such a legend!
“Destiny,†I look down one hallway on my way out of the east wing, “Is there?â€
“Yes, we have one girl in solitary, unfortunately,†she says regretfully, “Loretta.â€
“May I… May I go see her?†I cry, remembering my own time in there, let alone other’s.
“I’m unfortunately not…â€
“Please!†I sound pathetic instead of like a 26 year old woman, “She needs cheer too!â€
“OK,†Destiny nods in acknowledgment, “I’ll deal with the warden next week.â€
You went in solitary for three reasons: violence, suicide concerns, and disobedience. My time in solitary was for a fight with a girl back when I was F04. You lose your rank and privileges when you go in solitary; you spend all day locked in the cell except for one hour where you're allowed to go back to your own pod during recreation hour, but you're in irons for that hour. I remember it so well, and I know how much this girl needs a little touch of love in her life.
I’ll never forget driving my old 1990s Chevrolet Suburban to Kendra’s house at 1AM and having her hand me her belongings to put in the SUV and then taking her home with me. She had been cleared to end parole, and ankle monitoring, just a day or two before that. She's never gone back to that house, and since then she's survived brain cancer as well. That night Kendra and I went to bed, a bed we had to share because it was the only one, and I remember her calling my name in a sweet voice, ‘“Marrrryyyyyyyy!†because she wanted more blankets. I had blankets and quilts to spare, and she finally could sleep in peace and quiet that night. It was only the beginning for us.
“Merry Christmas, Loretta,†I give her two cookies instead of one, “And may God bless you.â€
I made a friend that day. Against prison rules, I hug her while she cries. She’d been put here for being considered a suicide threat, and I just know I can make a difference in her luife. That day began a stirring in our hearts. Monday morning, I dropped off a personal letter for her to begin a correspondence and friendship with this remarkable young lady. Yes, I jumped ahead and made it a little awkward. Pods A, B, C, and D aren't as happy to see me. That's because the girls there are usually in her for sentences of 1-4 weeks, at worst. The ones in Pods E, F, G, and H, F and G in particular, are here for months or years. It's gut wrenching to recall it all so vividly.
Kendra doesn't know how to process what happened in that chamber. I see it in her eyes. She is empathetic, though, and that's all that matters. She “only†spent six months in prison, including Christmas. Oh, those months, over a year, before I reunited with Kendra in late 2014 after both of us were released in late spring to early summer of 2013. Then we took in another podmate in May of 2015, cherishing her as part of my home until my wedding in 2018. In it all, we took on a way of earning money many consider unorthodox, but it works for us in our respective ways.
“Maddy†is a funny nickname. Hannah Larsson there bestowed that name upon me. Some girls would call me “M.-A.†and say it either “Em Ay†or “Ma.†Well, I have massive tits, 34DDs that are 100% what God gave me, so Hannah concatenated “M.-A.†and “DD†to make “Maddy.†It's a funny and charming nickname even if bestowed upon me by a girl who wanted to fondle me in a consensual bedroom context. Hannah's a precious friend, though, and integral to my life.
“It's good to be home,†I wiggle my eyebrows before kissing my husband, “Busy night ahead!â€
How many girls have long, naturally out-of-control curly brown hair and big brown eyes? Green leather pants hug my body. A red-and-black plaid woolen knee skirt drapes over that. Red ankle socks and red combat boots add a rebellious edge. A black turtleneck t-shirt is harmless, but for me it's an opportunity to roll up the shirt and use a little tape so that my six-pack abs are visible. A Christmas poinsettia print bandana holds my air back as a standard kerchief. A green belt is a tasteful accent through the skirt’s belt loops, especially with its golden buckle. Around my neck are the many dogtags engraved with my prison cell IDs, my arrest dates, and my prisoner ID, as well as my crucifix and many religious medals. I often take off my chain for filming because it gets in the way, but tonight I keep it. Still, it makes a wonderful accent for a girl like me.
I don't know why I fell in love with bondage and TUGs. Camaraderie? Athleticism? Escapism? I did fall in love, though, especially when Kendra told me about bondage modeling. I loved each and every aspect though. The rope. The gags. Binding and gagging. Being bound and gagged. Filming. Acting. Setting up a set. I like all of it so much I own my own studio now. Each girl I mentioned back in juvie? They're going to appear in this upcoming production. It's going to be a fun series of connected scenes within a scene. Our dear Hannah’s lead the production itself.
“Am I as cute of an elf as Kendra was earlier?†Jackie asks me that evening.
“Of course not,†Destiny drops the truth bomb without concern, “She's elf sized.â€
“Am I sexier?†the exasperated girl tries a second time and gets silence from all instead.
“Do I look like the Bishop of Myra?†Nate walks out to show us his own Santa outfit.
“Put on 160 pounds and ask me again,†Destiny can be cruel in her humor.
“Can one of the Hannah’s provide me with her socks?†he dryly asks and looks around the room.
“No problem,†Miss Larsson says with a grin, “Let them fester until you need them.â€
Destiny is an unique girl in so many ways. I’m almost 5’8â€, but she's still just a little taller than me. For this, the prison guard has exchanged her cop uniform for a Christmas red denim pencil skirt that comes down to her calves and has metal buttons up the right side. She has green and white candy cane striped knee socks and red heels. A white three-quarter sleeve V-neck blouse is covered in red holly berries that have two or three green leaves around them. Her headband, a green bandana, doubled as a subtle nod to her crazy and adventurous past. Her tits are naturally a little smaller than mine; her frame is thick; she's got a natural tan because she's half Sicilian.
I was released from prison long before Destiny was arrested. She was a real gangster, the kind of gangster that goes around beating up people, robbing others, and so forth. She not only spent a year in the Mudville Juvie but also spent 8 months in the women's prison in Shakopee. Yet, here she is, reformed and a fantastic young woman even if one with a sharp tongue. Very sharp.
“Then I should be gagged with the elf’s socks instead,†Kylie adds with a sly grin.
“You want it; you’ll get it. Nate will take good care of you,†I warmly smile at her.
Kylie is a dirty blonde with these pretty, expressive blue-gray eyes. You can tell that she carries a sadness, the sadness of being that corrupt guard’s favorite victim, with her. She’d never really thought about her sexuality much, but I can't blame her for only liking women now. Poor Kylie cannot even have children. Her hair has some natural waves, but her soul is a storm.
To make it worse, Kylie got three years for playing middle man between two junkies when she was neither a user nor a dealer. It was a setup. No one listened to her except her family, and it was only after she was released that the conspirators admitted that it was a setup. Her life was completely ruined by lies. She stands at just 5’4†and has a slight amount of excess fat. For the films, she has chosen dark green leggings, red canvas sneakers, white socks, a red sweater, and a soft Christmas fashion scarf she has tied around her neck. What a beautiful sight she is!
——————————————————————————————————
Bad Santa
At Christmas, surprises await all, especially on Christmas Eve, the most amazing evening of the year in several ways. Light snow falls outside the house. Inside, three girls, housemates, enjoy a quiet night at home ahead of a busy Christmas morning with each of their respective families. A tall and beautiful girl with a rebellious edge reclines on the sofa with her hands folded across her belly after a lovely cup of tea. Not far from her, on a recliner, her housemate, another brunette, is quietly tapping on her tablet. In the kitchen, the third housemate, a blonde sits at the table with a magazine before her. All are content and have slight smiles on their faces.
The brunette on the sofa, the one with the natural 34DD boobs, has apparently fallen asleep. No staying up in hopes of meeting Santa for her. That chain and its many medals weighed down her throat, I think, and choked her out. She looks like a girl who puts up a false front but is really a total softie. Maddy’s slight natural tan really makes her a standout hottie to soon be in distress.
The lovely Destiny sits up in hopes of seeing Santa arrive. She has a childish fascination with an old fat guy, but she now has an adult edge to it. Yes, she wants to kiss Santa Claus and nothing is driving her to stay awake besides this. She is a rough girl who can turn on a New Jersey accent in an instant if she so desires. The guns she knows how to use best are the two in her chest.
Star Blue is a studious girl. The thought of someone visiting to bring gifts and cheer amazes her in a refreshingly naïve and sweet way. Her only desire is to thank the old fat guy for being such a selfless man. She has such a loveable charm and deserves the best. She may be a 25 year old woman, but she has the gratitude of a child, the cunning of a middle-aged spy, and the beauty of her own age. Yes, I am blending the real Star Blue into the fictional character.
Through a bedroom window, a mysterious character in a red suit, not really too far but still with a big shaggy white beard and matching hair enters with a sack across his shoulder. Beside him is a rather tall elf, an elf with the typical hat and outfit and even with blondish hair and blue eyes. He has arrived. Yes, this is none other than Santa Claus himself, in the flesh! Ho, ho, ho! Santa has a mischievous gleam in his eye since he knows the treacherous desire of Destiny’s heart; Kylie’s desire is borne in a childlike innocence and might be fulfilled a little better. He easily sneaks by Kylie in the kitchen and into the living room. Santa magic allows him to be seen only by whom he wishes to see him; Kylie can't see him although she can hear him when he speaks.
“Ho, ho, ho!†he says in a jolly voice, “Merry Christmas, Destiny!â€
“Oh. My. God. Santa! Maddy, wake up!†Destiny jumps up, but Maddy slumbers.
“Elf Missy, do you have those socks?†Santa asks, “Destiny is having naughty thoughts.â€
“Yes,†Missy really is grabbing {Hannah Jones’s} socks out of view, “Here you are!â€
“Thank you, Missy! Destiny must be taught a little lesson,†and Santa grabs Destiny.
“Santa! Whoa! Mmmmppphhhh!â€
Poor Destiny eats that pair of dirty socks at the hand of Santa Claus, and many layers of red duct tape wrap her head to ensure she is thoroughly shut up. Red rope boxties her arms, and a harness and a tight crotch rope secure her. Santa ties Destiny's torso while his elf ties her legs together at her ankles, knees, and thighs. The ankle rope also wraps around her heels for extra security. The elf puts Destiny in an ankles to harness hogtie.
Santa and his elf have used their magic to ensure Maddy hears nothing, but she sure feels the elf jamming a 2.25 inch red ball gag into her mouth! White zip ties begin to bind me! Yes, ho, ho, ho, it's back to first person because I’m getting crushed like a tomato. They crush my arms with the zips at my wrists, mid forearm, and on either side of my elbows. Long zips wrap my torso to secure my arms; the zips are at my waist and on either side of my tits. Three zips for my thighs and four for my lower legs are similarly tight, and another ties my feet together in the heel of my boots. I am going nowhere, and now I can focus enough to see Destiny’s plight.
“Ho, ho, ho, sweet Star Blue! Merry Christmas!†he says in his usual jovial way.
“Santa?!†Star says before {Hannah Larsson’s} socks fill her mouth, “Mmmmmm!â€
Star is put in a white ziptie frogtie. Her thighs and lower legs are connected in three places for a tight binding. and her arms are zipped in a boxtie with five binding her forearms along with zips on either side of her tits. Green tape wraps her face up to ensure her silent compliance. She's in a lot of trouble, being tied up like that. Santa brings her into the living room with ease, slinging her across his shoulder for transport. Once Star is on the floor, the elf takes off her scarf to turn it into a blindfold. She is really helpless now.
These zipties are really tight. My body is crushed. I am already starting to drool from whining into the ball gag. Destiny is struggling on the chair, and the elf mischievously slides Destiny’s headband over her eyes and reknots to make a blindfold. The elf then hogties Destiny. Santa is turning a blind eye to his elf’s chaos while he puts presents under the tree. With one last chortle of “Ho, ho, ho,†Santa and his elf abandon the three bound and gagged housemates.
“Guh uhhhh!†I am drooling a ton now.
“Mmmmmmmm!†Destiny sucks on dirty socks while squirming in a hogtie.
“Gmmmmmmm!†Star also sucks on dirty socks while struggling in a ziptie boxtie frogtie.
We struggle for 5-7 minutes to bring the film to a close.
| Featuring | Model Name | Role |
|---|---|---|
| Mary-Ann Jamison | Maddy Vee | Victim |
| Kylie Svensson | Star Blue | Victim |
| Destiny Reilly | Destiny Child | Victim |
| Nate Jamison | Johnny Vee | Santa |
| Jackie Martin | Missy Mischief | Elf |
——————————————————————————————————
Nate, Jackie, Hannah, and Hannah until Destiny and Kylie. Everyone gets paid. Then it's back to my home, and Nate’s no longer in a Santa costume. However, I am still bound and gagged! I am quite helpless, too, just the way I like it! Heeeeee hee hee heeeeee! It's that amazing time to make a baby! Yes, we're not hiding our intentions behind this setup, and everyone knows it.
Nate cuts all the snaps binding my legs except the ones binding my ankles. Those tight leather pants come down along with my panties, and Nate comes in! Yes, I am struggling like that wild girl with the “34DD French titties†as she comes along. Drool pours off her with ease because of the big red ball gag in her mouth. It is a very tight and restrictive position created by the cruelty of the white plastics. My torso is heavily covered in zipties, but there's only one for the ankles.
“Guhhhhh!†I groan while helplessly squirming because Nate is pulling my pants down.
“You're a perfect little damsel,†Nate gives me a kiss on the forehead.
“Gug uhh mmmmm!†I wail knowing what is coming too perfectly.
“Here goes nothing!†my husband invades my body with a groan from me.
“Mmmmmmmmmmm!†I feel the invasion for sure now; his junk is in my junk.
Drool is everywhere, but it feels good to be playing a little game like this. I can only stop him by ending the game, but soon Nate is pumping his stuff into my body. He is so considerate he waits until I have orgasmed myself before he zips my legs back up. Oh, ho, ho, ho! We are not nearly done yet in this game; that merely ended the sexual portion of the broadcast. My chest zips are also in need of adjustments. My shirt and bra move and then out come titties before my chest is zipped again. My pants were mostly put back, but my panties are visible now. Against my body goes a vibrator. Onto my nipples go binder clips. My sexy bandana is turned into a blindfold. It appears that it is time for me to be spanked with a paddle.
My mind, however, goes back first to Pod F, them to Pod G, and finally back to solitary. Loretta had a transformer; I could see the spark in her eye. Hearing my story of solitary gave her a bit of hope that she was lacking before this afternoon. Had I really spoken to her for 15 minutes. Why did I do it other than the true joy of Christmas, the story of the child in the manger? While I had dressed up as Santa, even as a little girl I understood he was just a literary device.
“Gmmmmmmm!†I shriek a little before I am lost in the ecstasy of orgasm.
I used to go to Grandpa Voisin’s house every Christmas Eve. I’d take a nap from 3 to 6, and at 6 I would get up drink a cup of coffee (yes, I’m talking about being like 6 years old) while we ate cookies Grandma Voisin had made. Bernadette, my other cousins, and I would sit and talk about our hopes for Christmas, but mine were always so bland. Then, we’d watch Christmas movies or play games or sing Christmas carols or listen to old jazzy songs until 10:30. We’d bundle up and go to church for 11:15, when our church started its Christmas midnight mass. We’d be inside my uncle’s minivan for the ride, and my cousin Bernadette sang in the choir.
I never knew it was disordered. My parents were always absent. We had no tree. I got no gifts from my parents. There were no decorations or Christmas music or movies or stockings or even little moments of affection. Instead, I was dumped off somewhere, and my parents would arrive at Grandpa’s the next morning. I was the only one whose parents weren't there when she opened her presents. How was I supposed to know that my parents never loved me for a second? When I was born, my mom was just 16, and my dad was only a month older than her.
I cried that first Christmas in juvie even though juvie was better than home or foster care. But, I received joy that night when Grandpa, Uncle Junior, and Bernadette all visited first, and then my Voisin aunt and her family visited me too. I never understood why none of them ever took little Mary-Ann into their homes; only as an adult did I learn that my parents spread lies about me and them so that the foster system wouldn't release me to my own relatives.
“Mmmmmmmmmmmm!†paddling is such a perfect way for a wildcat like me to be punished.
Then I was blessed with friendships like the girls you saw this evening and this man who just got to engage in that wonderful marital deed with me. The most awkward experience of my life was reaching out to my mother’s relations, the family I never knew I had. It's kind of ironic that they weren't too surprised to find out my mother had me, but… It's hard to realize that there is this 23 year old girl that you deserved to love and cherish. You can't make up for that; it's sudden; most of all, it hurts. My parents hurt me, and I soon discovered that my mother was the black sheep of the family. In fact, my famous BMW police chase had ended on the very same street upon which my mother had lived as a child. My grandparents embraced me, but it was hard for all. They did not know my name, even. At least I have grandparents in my life now, but it's awkward to know that my mother has a brother who's younger than me. Both of my parents were the bad ones.
“Gmmmmmm!†I wail because Nate is giving me quite the rough punishment.
Now, next week, I will make lots of cookies. I will spend Christmas Eve itself with my maternal relations, now a meaningful part of my life. The evening will be spent with Nate’s family. Then the midnight mass will be celebrated with Bernadette and I both in the choir, but it will mostly be my time with my friends from prison. Christmas Day will be for my husband and child. My life is better than I ever could have dreamed of it being 10 years ago when I was a juvenile inmate.
I was Santa today. Me. I can't believe it. I got to go back to those same pods in which I’d once roamed as an inmate, an outcast of society. That face. Loretta. Such a beautiful smile. I said it was beautiful too. She said she didn't know and was always told she was ugly inside and out by so many others, including supposed friends and her own family. Those were neither friends nor loved ones, in my book. She wasn't an outcast; she was merely on her own journey.
Spanking, orgasming, and fondling are always best followed by back door. Oh, yeah, Nate’s got a considerable amount of patience to deal with me. I remember the first day he ever asked me to go on a date: I froze up and giggled in disbelief that anyone would want to date me. Everyone in Minnesota knew about Mary-Ann Voisin, right? Nope. Not only did he not know but also he did not judge me either. In fact, he saw me as being the most interesting woman in the world, and he would ask me to tell story after story or ask question after question while digesting every little bit of information as a precious treasure. In spite of my past, he fell in love with me.
He bears with me even though I’m 7 months his senior. He has patience for my wild side and is my primary rigger in productions. He keeps me from letting film plots be too risqué, and he also knows what is therapeutic and cathartic for me. When I have little moments where I can't bear to carry the weight of my past and start to cry, he cuddles and reminds me that I’m loved. He even ties me up, gags me, and takes me from behind for vigorous sex when I’m in the mood! Oh, yes, I am one energetic and craaaaazzzyyyyy girl! Heeeeee heee heee heeeeeee!
“Ooooooooooooo!†I squeal and squirm at his second ejaculation of the night.
I am very much a Roman Catholic. I struggle to be a bondage producer. My own productions do not focus on nudity, but sometimes I allow it as a way to drive a plot. No crotch exposure gets in my films though. Breast exposure is only done in a F/F context for humiliation and degradation since some argue that breast exposure isn't nudity. Yeah, it's tough. Without my friends and my husband, I’d still be a girl in trouble. Thank God for these wonderful people!
Destiny, Kylie, Jackie, and my double Hannah are such amazing girls for making films. They're such cheerful colleagues, and both Hannah's are geniuses with a camera in their hands. Kylie is an incredible actress in these, and Destiny adds the talent of making scripts. Jackie adds charm to the final product and is equally beautiful as a dominant and a submissive. Both Hannah’s are also actresses who can credibly portray serious dramas just as well as light comedies.
“Ohhhhhhhh,†I am caressed, fondled, and kissed by my husband.
I can tell Christmas will be very Merry this year. There is a lot to celebrate, and I now know that I have to visit Mudville Juvie some more. I’ve got to deliver a letter on Monday morning. Nate is having fun, and I’m getting tired. It's time for the zips to come off, but what a journey it has been. I’m exhausted, and I want a turn on top before I quit for the night.
This is a good spot to end things. You’ve gotten to see three sides of me. Until next time!
XOXO
THE END
