A Yuletide Damsel in Distress (FM/F)

[Stiletto Amore]

Chapter One: Writer's Block



it was the night before Christmas, and as the snow pilled up outside the only creature stirring inside this New York townhouse was a beleaguered Children's author hard at work on her latest novel.
Hunched over an antique wooden desk, frantically scribbling away on a yellow legal pad, Alice Roberts was putting the final touches to her latest manuscript. Although, technically speaking, she did own a word processor, (a somewhat misguided Birthday gift from her husband, it now resided high atop a cluttered bookcase in the study) Alice continued to insist on writing all her books in longhand using a never ending supply of red and black felt pens.

With her shock of white hair, horn rimmed glasses, Gothic dresses and eye-liner an inch thick, Alice was something of an unlikely style icon, but for a generation of readers, enraptured by her YA teen detective novels, she was still considered the last word in geek chic.
The ‘Jinkies in Distress’ books were a series of noir mysteries set in the fictional town of Windham Bay. Although derided by literary critics as ‘lightweight, disposable nonsense’ full of 'arch villains and hackneyed, cliffhanger perils’, her army of loyal readers found them almost impossible to put down - so much so there was even talk of a children’s adventure serial.
Indeed, such was the enduring popularity of her eponymous hero, Alice often found herself signing copies of her books for fans dressed in her character's distinctive green and yellow school uniform.

Whilst it was fair to say that she had yet to fulfil her literary ambition to write the Great American novel, the (relative) fame and fortune from the Jinkies books certainly helped to soften the blow - indeed Alice often referred to her residence as 'the House that Jinkies built'.
Alas, she was currently in the midst of something of a creative slump. Indeed, she had been struggling to compose a suitable ending to her latest novel - for almost a week now and the publication deadline was fast approaching.

In the story, the teen sleuth had tracked a family of crooked forgers to their hideout in an old, abandoned lighthouse. Of course, as is traditional with such things, Jinkies was quickly discovered and taken prisoner - leading to an extended period of captivity for our hero, culminating in a typically miraculous escape.
For some reason these had always been Alice’s favourite parts of the book to write - indeed her novels were infamous for always including at least one scene (if not several) in which the lead character is tied up, or in some way restrained.
Ever since she was a small child Alice had always been strangely fascinated by the notion of damsels in distress in popular fiction - which is hardly surprising when you consider that in the late 80’s the only function of the heroine in the films and TV shows of the time, seemed to be to get kidnapped and look good doing it!
It probably didn’t help matters that, in a household with three older brothers, Alice was frequently corralled into playing the part of the hostage in their make-believe games.
Of course being something of a tomboy herself, she was more than happy just to be included and soon came to relish the, rather limited parts she was given - whether it was as the helpless Cowgirl prisoner of a bloodthirsty native American tribe, or the fearless reporter April O’ Neil pursued by a ninja warrior with a cheese grater for a face.
Most surprisingly, Alice found she was unexpectedly good at getting free from her makeshift bonds - much to the rising consternation of her brothers who felt, perhaps rightly, that she wasn’t really entering into the spirit of being a ‘helpless’ damsel.
A vociferous reader, Alice became obsessed with adventure stories involving teen detectives (of any gender) quietly revelling in the moments in which they were captured, bound up, gagged and tied.
Then, one fateful night, tasked with rewriting one of her Nancy Drew fan-fiction's as part of a homework assignment, Alice conceived of the notion of a schoolgirl detective with Houdini-like abilities.
By the morning - ‘Jinkies’ was born.
Now, twenty years, and seventeen books later Alice was writing her final adventure.
At the conclusion of this book, Jinkies was going to graduate from high school and join the police academy.
But first, there was one last case to solve,.. The Peril of Pirates Cove.

Which brings us to,..

Chapter 13: Kidnapped

“Curiouser and Curiouser” Jinkies thought to herself as she flicked open the clasps on the leather briefcase.
Despite herself, she found herself gasping at what she found inside.
The attache case was stuffed to bursting with 100 dollar bills.
A relative King's ransom in unmarked notes.
All forgeries no doubt.
Thinking quickly, Jinkies retrieved her phone from the inside of her school blazer, fully intending to inform the authorities of her discovery.
Alas, in all the excitement she had failed to hear the office door open behind her,..
"Officer Barrel, Officer Barrel, I've found th-"

Before the teen sleuth could utter another sound a thick, clammy hand was clamped tightly over her mouth, effectively gagging her.
With her arms pinned to her sides Jinkies was unable to prevent her attacker from seizing the handset and snapping it shut, abruptly ending the call.
“Well, well, well if it isn’t ‘Jinkies’ Smith - the famous school girl detective!"

Jinkies turned her head in the direction of the voice.
It belonged to a kindly faced old woman in a frock and pinny who Jinkies recognised as Mrs Butterworth, the local beekeeper.
Jinkies’ eyes pleaded with her to run and get help, but the diminutive shopkeeper merely cackled in delight at her fruitless efforts to free herself.

The young detective looked thoroughly bemused.
Was it possible that the kindly old beekeeper was somehow implicated in the forgery?
"I see you didn’t heed my advice to stay away from the lighthouse,.."

Jinkies mmpphhffed angrily as she writhed in the grip of the thug holding her fast.
She had been betrayed.

"Well, I think we can skip the pleasantries for now,.. Herman - tie her up!”

Jinkies' eyes opened wide, half in fear, half in nervous excitement.
"If you promise not to cry out, I'll take my hand away" Herman whispered menacingly in her ear.

Reluctantly, Jinkies nodded in agreement, hoping to bide her time and look for an opportunity to escape, all the time wondering just what terrible fate these fiends had in store for her.
True to his word, the thug released his vise-like grip on her, and the girl sleuth gasped with relief as she was finally able to breathe again without restriction.
The schoolgirl detective watched as the burly crook drew a stout length of boating cord from one of his many pockets.
Seeing little alternative, and being well versed in such matters, Jinkies dutifully held out her hands.
“My, my, so cooperative,” Mrs Butterworth teased

"Ha! Maybe she likes it?!" Herman snorted derisively.

Jinkies felt her cheeks redden, but she didn't resist as the hoodlum pulled her slender arms behind her back.
"You two must feel pretty brave threatening a helpless young school girl" Jinkies spat back even as she was being tied.

"And you must feel pretty smart for having fallen into our clutches so easily,” the hateful villain retorted with obvious relish.

“You can add kidnapping to your list of crimes you creep!” Jinkies snarled as she felt the cords being pulled savagely tight.

“Ah, yes, thanks for reminding me,” Mrs Butterworth said with a gloat as she snatched up the teen sleuth’s phone and began scrolling back through the mountain of evidence she’d assembled

“My, my you are quite the enterprisingly little snoop, aren’t you?”

“Hey, that’s my property!”

Jinkies watched helplessly as the old woman dropped the handset onto the ground and crushed it beneath the heels of her wellington boots.
“Whoops! How clumsy of me”

"You monster - that phone was only one day away from retirement"

"Oh come now dear, no need to pout" Mrs Butterworth purred, lifting Jinkies chin.

"I'm not pouting," Jinkies explained, “This is my Paddington hard stare - it's for villains who forget their manners!"

“You should learn to watch your tongue young lady, it might get you into trouble” Herman growled as he fished another length of rope from his jacket.

Studiously ignoring this, thinly veiled threat Jinkies continued
"Just what are you planning to do with me?" She demanded as the thug began tying her ankles together.

The pint sized villain paused as Jinkies squirmed in front of her. "Relax my dear - there's nothing to be afraid of. You're just going to help us with a spot of night fishing,.."

"Who knows, maybe we’ll use you as bait!" The thug added, with obvious relish.
Jinkies gasped theatrically.

“Surely you don’t mean…?” the teen detective exclaimed, sinuously writhing as the thug tightened up the knots around her slender ankles.

"Only if you don’t behave,.." Mrs Butterworth insisted, the corners of her mouth twisted in a hideous rictus grin.

"You're enjoying this?"

"A perk of the job. Nothing more" Mrs Butterworth insisted as she slowly unfurled a thick white handkerchief.

"Speaking of which,.. any last words?"

"None that spring to mind," Jinkies replied.

Stoic to the end, Jinkies lifted her head and opened her mouth allowing her captor to wedge the scarf firmly between her teeth.
Despite her cooperation Jinkies still found herself mewing in despair as the gag was pulled fiendishly tight and knotted behind her head.
It was hard to escape the suspicion that her abductor had taken particular delight in making her gag as uncomfortable as possible.
Jinkies stared daggers at her captors.
“Well, I’m not having you scowling at me like that for the rest of the night -” Mrs Butterworth said angrily as she reached up to the schoolgirls throat.

Jinkies gasped in alarm.
"Oh, don't worry - I'm just borrowing this" She explained, as she roughly tugged Jinkies necktie loose from around her neck, exposing the top button of her starched blouse.

“Although, I have to say, I do so admire the way you dress so smartly in your uniform - not like some of the children you see nowadays - they look like they got dressed in the dark"

“Mmmphh, I guepphh” Jinkies heard herself reply as her own school tie was fixed firmly over her eyes and tied neatly in place.

“There. That’s much better. Don’t you think so?”

“Much!” Herman agreed, gazing lecherously at their bound, gagged and now blindfolded, hostage.

“Herman - stop ogling the prisoner. We've still got to get out of here before the tide rolls in!”

And with that the two knaves picked Jinkies up and, after a brief struggle carried her over to a small rowboat where she was dumped like a pile of dirty laundry.
Jinkies tested her bonds as the two criminals climbed into the vessel with her, almost capsizing the boat in the process– as expected, the cords were tight and unyielding.
She was trapped!
All that remained was to learn her fate.


Breathlessly Alice put down her pen.
When writing she couldn’t help but imagine herself in her heroine's place and to Alice, the thought of being trussed up and held to ransom sounded like such a thrilling adventure, so much so that she found it hard to concentrate.
Despite this handicap and after a painfully long creative slump, the story was finally taking shape, all that remained now was to devise a suitable fiendish deathtrap for her character to escape from.
But what was it to be?
As Alice ponders her characters fate, she had no idea that, at that very moment, high above the ground, a masked figure in a red lycra catsuit was attempting to gain entry to her 18th Century townhouse through the sky light,..

[Stiletto Amore]

Chapter Two - Enter Stiletto Amore


Growing up, Vicki Sparks had always wanted to be a superhero - indeed she spent many happy afternoons running around her Grandmother's apartment with a makeshift cape fashioned from an old table cloth. However, even as a young girl, Vicki was aware that none of the spandex clad characters looked like her.
For one, most of them were male, and for two, they were almost exclusively white.
As a young black woman with an impressive afro, she was, it would be fair to say, neither of these things.
Then, one afternoon she had an epiphany.
It was during the school holidays and Vicki was watching cartoons after school when an old episode of the Adam West Batman series popped up on the screen.
For Vicki the corny dialogue and ridiculous over the top action held little appeal, but her Grandmother insisted they continued to watch.
And it was at this fateful moment that Vicki first became aware of Eartha Kitt in the role of Catwoman.
Vicki found herself watching in silent rapture as this sultry beauty in a black leather costume slinked across the screen plundering the rich and powerful whilst continuing to outwit the tiresome Dynamic Duo and their precious ally Batgirl.
30 minutes later Vicki knew what she wanted, what she really, really wanted - she wanted to be a Catburglar - just like her new idol.
Almost overnight Vicki found her allegiance had shifted to the dark side of the DC comicverse - gone was her adoration for caped crusaders and Amazonian Princesses and in it's place was an abiding love of Catwoman, in all her many guises.
In her childhood games Vicki was always the villian - imperiling helpless do-gooders in a series of fiendish death traps. Over the years she amassed an impressive array of Catwoman related merchandise and even set a local neighborhood record for most consecutive Halloween's dressed as the same character.
However, for Vicki cosplay was never going to be enough - she wanted to be a masked thief like her idol and that, she quickly learned, was going to take hours upon hours of practice.
So it came to pass that Vicki became a committed gymnast, enrolling in every extra curricular sports team that would have her - whilst at night she studied in secret the dark arts of lock picking and safe cracking.
And so it was that Vicki, now all grown up, at the ripe old age of 23, found herself picking the lock of a New York townhouse of a noted, if somewhat reclusive, children's author,..
The mechanism was old and rusted over in places, but after a brief struggle the cat burglar's nimble fingers were able to prise it open, before gently lowering herself into the opening.
Landing atop the plush carpet with the grace and poise of a feline ballerina Vicki Sparks performed a brief, celebratory bow.
“And the judges' scores are in,..”

Improbably tall and possessed of the breathless self confidence of an African Queen, Vicki glided through the hallway like a panther in carpet slippers.
Although the domino mask she wore was largely decorative, and often deeply impractical (Vicki had lost count of the number of times it had fallen over her eyes) she believed such touches were an important part of the act. After all, if you go around calling yourself a cat-burglar, there is an expectation you will at least go to the trouble of dressing the part which, in her case meant acquiring a skin tight lycra body stocking and a lifetime supply of talcum powder.
Of course, Vickie was no fool - she knew the destabilising effect her sculpted appearance as Stiletto had on the people she robbed and was determined to make each of her encounters a memorable one for her victims. After all, giving them a fun story to share with their friends and loved ones seemed like a small price to pay in exchange for relieving them of all their valuables.
Weirdly, she was seldom, if ever challenged by her victims.
This was partly because she was unerringly polite and took the time to speak in a (fake) upper class British accent, but it was also because she was such a cause célèbre in the press that people were actually falling over themselves to be robbed by her.
She even got business cards printed, with a silhouette of her on one side and the message “You were robbed by Stiletto Amore” on the other.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the cards sold for a fortune on e-bay.
From experience, Vicki knew that the best place to start was the master bedroom and after a couple of abortive attempts she finally found what she was looking for on the third try.
It was a large, expansive room with a walk in closet so expansive it probably had its own zip code.
Working silently, Vicki had just pulled open the top drawer of the dressing table when she heard the sound of frantic barking coming from the landing.
Now, it's probably fair to say that cat burglars, much like postal workers, have something of an innate dislike of dogs, but for Vicki that fear had long since blossomed into a full blown phobia.
With a rising panic she began frantically barricading the door against her canine invader.
“Shush, nice doggy!” She whispered pleadingly through the keyhole.

When this failed to elicit the desired reaction Vicki decided to change tact.
“Listen up your mangy mutt - if you don’t put a cork in it this instant, I’m going to make a Winter coat out of you!”

As if in response to the implicit threat the guard dog began throwing himself against the door like a hairy exocet missile.
“Okay, okay, if you promise to be quiet - I’ll fetch you a nice juicy steak from the kitchen,..”

Bribery was the answer - she saw that now.
Sadly for Vicki, this guard dog was not for turning and continued to launch himself against the frame which was now beginning to splinter in a most alarming fashion.
Moments later, Vicki heard footsteps coming up the stairs.
"There, there,.. What's the matter girl!?"

What followed sounded like a conversation between dog and owner, despite the fact that only one half of the participants was only capable of speaking English.
"A cat burglar?"
"Bark!"

"Really?"
"Bark! Bark!"

"You don't say!?"
"Bark! Bark! Bark!"

"My goodness! How exciting!"
Having completed her report the dog seemed content to wait in silence allowing Alice to take over.

"Don't worry, she won't bite" Came a kindly voice from the other side of the door.

"How can you be so sure?" Vicki replied cynically, from her hiding place behind the bed.

Alice thought for a moment "Well,.. she's my dog"
"Hmmm, ok that checks out" A pause "but how do I know this isn't a trap?"

"Ah, I see what you mean" Alice said, pondering the situation "Say, would it help if I put her in another room?"

"It might,.." Vicki conceded anxiously.
She waited for a moment and listened intently.

"There!" Alice said, audibly closing a nearby door "It's safe to come out now"

"Really?!" Vicki asked nervously.

"If you don't believe me, see for yourself"

Vicki did so, slowly peeking out the door before finally stepping out into the corridor with her arms raised in surrender.
True to her word, Alice had ushered Ruby (the dog) into a nearby bedroom and closed the door.

“Thank you” Vickie said pleasantly, trying not to appear too relieved

“You’re very welcome” the lady replied with a warm grin "So, you must be the famous cat burglar I've been hearing so much about"

"Guilty as charged. And you are?"

"My name is Alice Foster"

“Foster? Foster? Why does that name sound familiar,..? Wait - aren’t you the chick who wrote the Jinkies books?”
#
“You’ve read them?”

“Of course! I loved those stories. You always wrote such great female villains; The White Rabbit, Queen Anaconda, Lady Death Mask,..”

“Well, it’s always nice to meet a fan,..”

“It’s an honor Ms. Foster - I'd offer to shake your hand, but,.." Vicki said, indicating her raised arms.

"Oh," She said, as if suddenly noticing that her house guest still had her hands up "Don't worry about that, you can put those down now" She said happily

"And it's Mrs Foster, although hopefully not for long-"

"Trouble in paradise?"

"You could say that - I just found out my husbands been having an affair with my publisher"

"He sounds like a pig"

"And snores like one too unfortunately"

"Forgive me for saying, but It doesn't sound like you're too cut up about it"

"I suppose not. At least, not really"

"Well, I hope you take him to the cleaners in the divorce"

"Ah, now It's funny you should say that,..

"It is?" Vicki replied, feeling a little behind the curve

"Yes. You see I was the one who actually booked your services for the night"

"I thought your name looked familiar - Wait, you mean to say that you're the client?"

"In a manner of speaking - you see what I really wanted to do was steal back some family heirlooms before the divorce,.."

"And you thought that the best way to escape suspicion was to have a notorious cat burglar be seen to steal the items"

"Precisely!"

"Well, it's a bold gambit for sure!"

"So you'll do it?"

"Haha! Well, it's not my usual M.O, but it might be fun. Okay, I'm game - what's the plan?"
With a wicked grin, Alice outlined the details of her scheme.

TBC ?

[Trammel]

I love it so far. Nice twists and turns, so unexpected. Looking forward to more.

[Stiletto Amore]

I love it so far. Nice twists and turns, so unexpected. Looking forward to more.

So glad you're enjoying it so far!

[Stiletto Amore]

Chapter Three: Operation Toad, of Toad Hall



"So, let me get this straight - you want to help me break into your wall safe,"

"So far, so good. Go on"

"Which is kept hidden behind the painting above the mantelpiece"

"That's right"

"And you want me to retrieve your Grandmother's ring?"

"Right"

"Then we'll sell the rest and split the profits 50/50"

"Call it a finders fee"

"And then, before I vanish into the night with the loot I'm to truss you up in order to divert suspicion"

"Precisely! I call it Operation: 'Toad of Toad Hall'"

"I'm sorry?"

"It's a literary reference. In The Wind in the Willows, an old washerwoman is bribed to help Mr. Toad escape from prison, but in order to avoid getting sacked she insisted on being bound and gagged to cover her tracks"

"And did it work?"

"In the book? Sure!" She said confidently.
Vicki thought for a moment

"Well, what have I got to lose - Okay, you've convinced me"

"Yay! That's two votes for Operation Crazy Scheme. The motion is carried, by unanimous consent!"

"So, have you got any packing tape in the house?"

"I don't understand, are we making up boxes-?"

"To tie you up silly"

"Oh, no! You're not using duct tape - it ruins silk and it really hurts when it's removed from bare skin"
Vicki briefly considered asking how a children's author could come to know so much about the adhesive properties of duct tape but decided not to press the issue.

“What about handcuffs? I could chain you to the bed”

“Are you kidding? Have you never read Gerald’s Game?”

"Okay, rope then"

"Do I look like a mountain climber to you? Wait, you mean you didn't bring anything with you?"

“Well, in my defence I didn't know I'd be tying anyone up today"

"I thought a good cat burglar was always prepared"

"You might be thinking of the Girl Guides"

"Haha! Okay, look - why don't you get to work on the safe and I'll see if I can find something for you to tie me up with"

"Sounds like a plan"


Left to her own devices Alice dragged a heavy wooden chair from the study and stood it in the middle of the bedroom floor. She then proceeded to grab a handful of her husband's prized collection of silk ties, along with a couple of her own scarves, which she laid out, ready for inspection, on the bed.
A little out of breath from her excursions, the middle aged writer decided to freshen herself up in the bathroom - after all she didn't want to spend the whole night tied to a chair with a full bladder.


"Sorry I took so long," Vicki apologised when she returned fifteen minutes later "It was a nightmare to get open"

"But you did it?"

"Naturally!" she replied, not even attempting to conceal the pride in her voice as she displayed a, now full, purple silk bag full of money and jewellery.

"Excellent. And the ring?"

"As promised" She said handing it over.

Alice beamed as she pocketed the family heirloom.
Vicki was somewhat surprised to find her captive/ accomplice standing rather nervously behind an antique wooden chair that she was almost certain hadn’t been there before. Also, was it her imagination, or was Alice now wearing an entirely different outfit?

“You changed your clothes?”

Alice smiled coquettishly “Do you like it? It was a gag gift from my editor. I suppose I thought that, if I was going to spend the night being a damsel in distress, I might as well dress the part”

Vicki gazed admiringly at Alice’s new costume, a soft green skirt that reached to just above her knees, a starched white blouse buttoned at the collar, wide black belt, green blazer to match the skirt, and a yellow and green striped necktie knotted immaculately at her throat. Dark stockings and black high heeled shoes completed a not unattractive picture.
She recognised it instantly as a plus sized version of "Jinkies'" own school uniform.

“Call it research. I’m writing a scene in which our teen sleuth gets captured by forgers and tied up. I thought it might really help my writer's block if I could imagine what it would actually feel like."

Vicki smiled knowingly.

"My, my you have been busy haven't you?" She said, suddenly noticing the assortment of silk ties and brightly coloured scarves on the bed.

"Well, I wasn't sure what you wanted so I picked you out a selection,.."
Alice found herself watching on with nervous excitement as Vicki examined each of the ties in turn. It felt weirdly like she was having her homework marked by a teacher.
Almost subconsciously Alice found herself checking that her own tie was straight.

"These look really expensive" She said admiringly, holding up a rich purple tie Alice had bought for her husband whilst on a publicity tour in Milan. "Aren't you worried about stretching them out?"

"Not a bit of it, besides - I paid for them. It's only fair I get to decide how they're used"

"And the scarves? I take it they're yours" Vicki asked,

"I thought, maybe gags and blindfolds?"

Vicki raised an inquisitive eyebrow "Were you planning on calling for help?"

"Ha! Of course not. But it's what happens to Jinkies - in the story" She added nervously "Besides, I think it should look as realistic as possible. Don't you think so?"

Vicki shrugged "Well, you're the client,"

In the end Vicki selected five silk ties of various colours, a yellow hermes scarf, and a freshly laundered and pressed white handkerchief.

"There! These will be perfect!" She cooed warmly,
Alice couldn't help but notice that they all complimented her outfit perfectly

"Well, you know what they say about there being no time like the present,..”

And with that, Alice lowered herself onto the large, well cushioned chair and placed her hands on the heavy arm rests ready for her bindings.
She watched with wide eyed fascination as her left wrist was securely fastened to the arm of the chair with a green silk necktie.
“You’ve done this before” Alice said delightedly.

“Maybe once or twice” Vicki admitted as she pulled the knot taut “But it makes a pleasant change to be doing it to someone who actually wants to be tied up”

“I could always struggle a bit if it would make you feel better” She said as her right arm was similarly fastened in place.

“That’s very kind. Maybe later”

Next, her waist was circled several times by a canary yellow tie, pinning her tight to the back of the chair.
Alice shivered with excitement as she realised just how thoroughly she had been immobilised.
"I hope all of this is helping you get into character" Vicki said as she slowly tightened up the scarf around her ample waist.

"Oh, very much so!" Alice replied enthusiastically.

“So,.. what’s happening now?”

“I’m sorry?” Alice asked, not following.

“In the story,” Vicki prompted as she began fixing her left leg to the chair.

“Oh, well, Jinkie’s has been captured by a pair of beekeepers who were running a counterfeiting scam”

“Not much of a living in honey these days I suppose” Vicki said as she tightened the white necktie around Alice’s ankle.

“Haha! Apparently not. Anyway, they catch her snooping around the lighthouse and decide to take her hostage"

“Mmmm, sounds good so far” Vicki pured as she finished tying the last knot. “Then what?”

“Well, that’s just it. I don’t know”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, just that. the thieves have Jinkies in their clutches - but I'm not sure what they do to her next”

“So, you want to pick my brains?”

"Well,.. it wouldn't hurt to get a second opinion - I mean, you're a famous master criminal - what would you do in their place?"

"You mean if I caught a school girl detective snooping around my lair?"

"Right"

"Honestly? - It would probably involve a large bathtub and some industrial strength acid"

"Haha! No doubt a highly effective, if rather graphic solution - but probably a little strong for my readership"

"Ha! You're probably right. Hmm, okay let me think for a moment,..” She said, sitting on the bed “So this couple who have taken our hero prisoner - what's their deal?"

"Mrs Butterworth - the lead villain, is a sadistic old woman with an unnatural obsession with bees, and Herman - that’s her henchman - is a giant fisherman covered in mermaid tattoos”

“Sounds like a regular odd couple” She said, running the yellow scarf through her gloved fingers.

“Ha. I imagine they bicker a lot. Anyway, it transpires that the gruesome twosome have been secretly running a counterfeiting scheme from the old abandoned lighthouse for months now - and Jinkies was all set to expose them -”

“But they caught her in the act?”

“Exactly”

“Right, so what’s the state of play?”

“Well, the crooks have Jinkies trussed up in a rowboat - her hands and feet are tied and she’s been gagged and blindfolded”

“Oh my,.. well things certainly sound pretty bleak for our school girl detective”

“Very much so”

“And they don’t simply throw her over the side of the boat and leave her to drown because?!”

“Haha! Probably for the same reason the villains never just shoot James Bond in the back of the head - it lacks a certain dramatic tension”

“Mmm, yes - I see what you mean - okay, how about this - they row the boat out to the rock of sorrows,..”

“Ooo, that sounds good! And what, prey tell, is the rock of sorrows?”

“Glad you asked, I’m thinking it’s a large, foreboding black rock where evil sea captains of legend were marooned and left to drown as the tide rises,..”

“Sounds a little drafty”

“I imagine you'd want to bring a jacket. But that’s not all,..”

“No?” Alice replied, hanging on every word.

“There are several metal rings drilled into the crag,..”

“Oh?” Alice asked, suddenly feeling rather flush.

“And from those rings are a series of rusted chains which can be used to shackle unwary travelers to the rock”

“Or snooping teens,..?”

“Indeed” She said triumphantly

“I should probably be writing this down”

“I’m sure you’ll remember,” Vicki said confidently.

“Okay, so they chain her to the rock and leave her there - how does she escape?”

“Well, that’s rather your area of expertise than mine”

“Fair enough,” Alice agreed, her mind already racing with possibilities.

“Speaking of which-” She said, springing back to her feet “I better be on my way. It wouldn’t do for me to get caught at the scene of the crime”

“I suppose not - Still, thank you Vicki - you were a big help”

“So, do I get a credit in your next book then?”

“I’ll go one better - the next Jinkies story will have a female cat burglar as her chief protagonist”
Vicki couldn’t help but smile.

“And will she be a ballet dancer gone to seed with a heart of gold and a love of all things that sparkle?”

“Naturally”

“And will she be blessed with a mighty afro?”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way”

“Fabulous”

“Oh, one more thing before you go-”

“Oh?”

“My gag and blindfold”

“Of course. How forgetful of me” She stepped behind the chair, folding the thick, white handkerchief into a band.

“Between the teeth, or over the mouth?” Vicki asked, as though the they were two best friends discussing ice cream flavors.

“Ooo, a cleave gag please” Alice said eagerly “And be sure to make it good and tight!”

“As you wish ‘Jinkies’” She said, carefully placing the cloth in her mouth and knotting it firmly behind her head.

“There! How’s that?”

Alice mumbled something that sounded like contentment.
Moments later the yellow silk scarf was similarly fastened over her eyes and tied snugly in place.
“Are you sure that’s okay?” Vicki asked, sounding concerned.

“Mmpph mmmpphhh!” Alice assured her.

“Oh, well that's good then. I suppose I better leave you to it then. When I’m far enough away I’ll put a call in to the police so someone can come let you out”

"Nmm rushhh" Alice mumbled

Moments later, she listened as the catburglar made her getaway.
Alone at last Alice began to daydream that she was a teen detective - the helpless captive of two ruthless counter-fitters - left to drown on a desolate rock in the middle of a long forgotten quarry,..
Meanwhile, in the farthest corner of the house, the grandfather clock struck twelve.
For the trussed up and gagged author It was already feeling like it was going to be the best Christmas ever,..